Gateway to the Medium
by TheCurtisclan
Summary: In the game of Sburb, you either win, or you die. Unfortunately for Matt and Tara, their session may be under threat by a God Tier with immense powers from a doomed timeline. With the help of a couple of trolls, they set out to defeat the rogue God Tier and win the game.
1. Day 1-10:00

Matt took off his cap, and ran his pale hand through his chestnut coloured hair, before placing his battered accessory back on his head. The day had been especially humid, and it certainly hadn't helped that he was cooped up in his smallish room the entire day. Then again, that wasn't too unusual for him, as he preferred the indoors opposed to the busy streets of his bustling city.

He laid back in his chair, pulling a lever to make the back support lean backwards, and simply sat there, waiting for the notification of his Pesterchum buddy, Tara, coming online. He watched the fan in his room rotate quickly, on the highest setting possible, trying to keep himself entertained for the next few minutes. His room was quite bare, as it had been for the past couple of months, due to renovations being made by his parents on his request. For his fifteenth birthday, rather than the usual million and one presents he got, he wanted to personally make up his room. Having the same paint, floors, and furniture gets tiring after fifteen years, and if John were to ever bring a girl over, he definitely wouldn't want her to see lime green paint with white firetrucks painted on them. There were still pieces of equipment here and there: his laptop, bed, and clothes drawer still remained, but other than that his room was the Sahara Desert, heat and all.

He straightened his back, before leaning in towards his laptop, noticing Tara was online, yet hadn't messaged him. He'd already waited long enough, so he clicked on her username and started the conversation.

DailySpelunker (DS) began Pestering BaptisingLilac (BL)

DS: yooooo T  
DS: 'yooooo T?' that was fuckin' stupid, reading that back  
DS: lemme try again

DailySpelunker (DS) ceased Pestering BaptisingLilac (BL)

DailySpelunker (DS) began Pestering BaptisingLilac (BL)

DS: how's it rollin' T?  
DS: god damnit to hell  
DS: *gosh damnit to heck  
DS: sorry if I offended you're religion or whatevs  
DS: but why can't I just say 'hello' like any other person  
DS: are you even reading this? probs are and laughing your ass off  
BL: Yes, it is kinda amusing, I'll admit  
BL: And I believe that you can't say 'hello' normally due to the fact you're constantly trying to spice up your way of talking  
BL: Just so you seem cool in my eyes  
BL: It's why you always misspell and use improper grammar on purpose  
BL: Which is sorta unnecessary, since I already think you're pretty cool  
DS: damn T, way to chuck me a hard curveball compliment by psychoanalysing me  
DS: but thanks  
BL: I also took no offense to your comment  
DS: yeah yeah I'll burn in hell for my sins anyway  
DS: whatevs. going back to what I pestered you for  
DS: you get the game  
BL: Yup. You sure playing this isn't going against my beliefs?  
BL: The amount of blood in the last game you told me to get…  
DS: nah it's all g  
DS: read the walkthrough, and it sounds freakin' awesome  
DS: whoever Rose was, she sure hyped the game up  
DS: even if she said it was dangerous  
DS: meteors and shit  
BL: Meteors?  
DS: trust me, it's better than I make it sound  
DS: once I install the game, we can get this shit STARTED

Just as Matt went to type again, he noticed another conversation hop up on his screen from someone he didn't know. He thought about continuing his conversation with Tara, but decided to at least check out why they were contacting him.

DS: hol' up, got someone else talkin' to me  
BL: You talk to other people?  
DS: hardy freakin' har  
DS: sorry we're not all part of a Christian chat group  
BL: Hey, don't diss it until you've tried it

DailySpelunker (DS) ceased Pestering BaptisingLilac (BL)

Matt closed the conversation with Tara, intrigued as to what the stranger had to say, and opened up the new conversation.

SporaticSlither (SS) began Trolling DailySpelunker (DS)

SS: Hello?  
SS: Issssss anyone there?  
SS: Any complete dipsssssshits by the name of Matt?  
DS: man you sure know how to greet somebody  
DS: whats up dude/lady  
SS: God, I already hate you  
SS: Jusssssst by the way you type  
DS: wow thats rich  
SS: What'ssssss that ssssssuppossssssed to mean?  
DS: Never mind  
DS: This better?  
SS: Much  
DS: How do you know my name?  
DS: You a stalker?  
SS: No, on the contrary  
SS: I'm a friend  
DS: Well if that isn't some cryptic bullshit, I don't know what is  
DS: You aren't hacking my account, are you?  
SS: I wissssssh  
SS: See what kind of dumbassssss human stuff you have  
DS: 'Dumbass human stuff?'  
SS: Lissssssten  
SS: Thissssss may be hard to believe  
SS: But I'm not human  
SS: I'm a troll  
SS: Now lissssssten, I've got a lot of sssssstuff that I can tell you assssss proof  
DS: Okay, I believe you  
SS: …  
SS: …  
SS: Wait, really?  
DS: Yeah man/lady  
DS: You can be whatever you want to be  
DS: I don't care if you really are  
DS: I just want to keep talking to you  
DS: Shit, was that kind of pathetic  
SS: It wassssss extremely pathetic  
SS: But I don't care, becausssssse I sssssstill need to talk to you  
SS: About Ssssssgrub  
DS: 'Sgrub?'  
SS: Ssssssburb in your sssssstupid human termssssss  
DS: All ears  
SS: Okay, sssssso thissssss might be kind of hard to explain  
SS: But here goessssss

Matt listened carefully to the stranger, holding on to every word to the long winded story. While Matt would never had admitted it, he loved the attention. It was one of his weaknesses; as long as someone was talking to him, he would never let his mind wander. It may've been hard to believe, but Matt didn't have many friends; in fact, aside from Tara and his parents, he didn't have any other friends, and he always jumped at the opportunity to make new ones. Even if they were jerks.

SS told him all about the game, about his game and another troll that he had as his server player. Apparently, they had already started the game, and were already inside the medium, but they had a problem in the form of a void session player invading their own session, and needed help to get rid of him.

SS: Did that make any ssssssensssssse?  
DS: That's it?  
DS: You just need help killing some dude?  
DS: That was a lot of set up  
SS: Yessssss, it'ssssss a thing I do  
SS: Long sssssstories, I mean  
SS: And yessssss, it may sssssseem that way to your primitive human brain  
SS: But thissssss 'dude' issssss God Tier  
SS: I'm ssssssure my moirail will tell you more later  
SS: But for now, jusssssst trusssssst me  
DS: Yeah dude, I trusted you from the get-go  
DS: The walkthrough I'm reading talks of supernatural shit  
DS: Like shit about 'Dream Selves?'  
SS: You'll learn about that later  
SS: But for now, play the game  
SS: I'll be in contact

SporaticSlither (SS) ceased Trolling DailySpelunker (DS)

Matt slid back from his computer, realising he had barely blinked during all that typing he did. Twenty minutes of just typing, and he had yet to even learn the stranger's name, but knew all kinds of crazy stuff about God Tiers and the Medium in general. So for a couple of minutes, he just sat back, watching Tara's Pesterchum flash over and over, beckoning him to check what she had messaged him while he was busy. Eventually, he realised enough was enough, and got back to his original topic.

BaptisingLilac (BL) began Pestering DailySpelunker (DS)

BL: Hey Matt, you get contacted as well by people claiming to be trolls?  
BL: Matt?  
BL: Gosh, you must've  
BL: Guess I'll wait  
DS: Yeah, the guy/girl told me of their situation  
DS: whoops  
DS: that's better  
DS: hope that didn't destroy my credibility  
BL: Don't worry, you haven't lost any credibility as a cool guy  
BL: Can't really lose what you never had  
DS: fuckin' roasted  
DS: isn't that like a sin  
DS: to insult good people  
BL: Well, it's complicated  
DS: *bullshit  
BL: Whatever, I'll confess it just in case next Sunday  
DS: great  
DS: you know about the 'God Tier' sitch  
BL: They seem to be quite desperate  
BL: I mean, it's kind of against God to  
BL: Well  
BL: Play God  
BL: But if this game can do what Tarlia told me, I'm inclined to help  
DS: tarlia?  
BL: The troll lady who talked to me  
BL: But anyway, I think we should get started  
BL: Shall we?  
DS: we shall  
DS: but first, defence  
DS: apparently we use weapon types as defence  
DS: theres a list  
DS: but I'm just gonna use my gun  
BL: Matt, no  
DS: imma use the gun  
DS: ttyl

DailySpelunker (DS) ceased pestering BaptisingLilac (BL) 


	2. Day 1-10:05

**AN- Man, I think this might be my first major length fanfic.**

 **Strap yourselves in for a ride, boys and girls.**

Ripping her desk drawer open, Tara rifled through the cluttered mess in search of her pen. Her hand made its way past photos of herself, different pieces of attempted 'art,' and a couple crumbled up packets of chips, before finally latching onto the object of desire. Tara whipped the pen out, and proceeded to walk over to a low table that sat in the corner of her room, a mess of drawings littered about on it. Behind her, her laptop flashed with urgency as a notification of a message popped up on her screen. She instead ignored it, as she knew it was just a group chat made up of her and her Christian friends from school. The five of them kept in contact with each other through it, though Tara personally disliked it. All they posted were _Christian memes._ Tara believed in God, but even she had the sense not to post such cringe inducing pictures.

She pulled over a piece of paper and sat down in her chair. She had just finished her conversation with Matt before he had to answer someone else, though Tara didn't care much about that. Gave her a chance to brush up on her drawing skills, though 'skills' said with the largest quotation marks Microsoft Word would allow.

Her room was nothing special, though it was layered with enough ' _Jesus Christ: Superstar'_ merchandise to sink a battleship. Posters, bedsheets, pillowcases, and numerous small statues made it up, making her healthy obsession seem borderline psychotic. Aside from that, absolutely normal.

She got about halfway through drawing a self-portrait before a different notification flashed up on her computer, inferring someone was contacting her directly. She placed the pen down, and crossed the room in a couple of strides, hoping Matt was back so they could get onto playing the game. Instead, she saw that it was a username she had never seen before. She brought up the chat window, and began to type.

SlipperyGough (SG) began Trolling BaptisingLilac (BL)

SG: GrEEtinGs!  
SG: tArA, you there darling?  
BL: Can I help you?  
BL: Not to be rude, but you've just contacted me out of the blue  
BL: And you know my name…?  
SG: oh! soRRy, is ThaT not okay?  
BL: Oh, I don't mind  
BL: It's just kind of creepy, is all  
SG: truly soRRy! It's just…  
SG: my friend and i REquiRE your help  
SG: and maTTs tOO!  
BL: Help?  
SG: with the game!  
BL: Sburb?  
BL: But we haven't played it  
SG: but when you sTarT playing, siLLy!  
SG: my friend carthus can teLL you aLL about it  
SG: i'm just CoNTaCTiNg you while he talks maTT's ear oFF!  
BL: Oh  
BL: Well, I suppose there are a few things I'd like to ask while we wait  
BL: Who are you? And who's Carthus?  
SG: oh, how rude of me!  
SG: my name's tArliA, and carthus is my favourite moIraIl!  
SG: weLL, only moIraIl  
SG: but i like to think we'd have bEEn bEStiES EvEn so!  
SG: you sEE, wE'rE the last of our kind  
SG: troLLs, if you can bEliEvE ThaT  
BL: Trolls, hmm?  
BL: I'm sorry if this is offensive, but that seems hard to believe  
SG: yes, weLL, i would try to prove it  
SG: but i don't have any way to! ]:/  
SG: but i can draw you a REpEREsENTaTioN of my moIraIl and i!

Tarlia sent a link to Tara, and though Tara was hesitant, she eventually clicked on it. The link opened Tara's web browser and took her to a single page, which had a cartoonish drawing plastered in the corner. The drawing depicted a grey skinned, curvy young lady, with a pair of horns about half the size of her head, and pointed straight upwards, though one was slightly curved back and down towards her head at the end. She sat on a small rock, surrounded by flowers, in a short and soft-looking dress torn off above her knees, and a long sleeved overcoat that ran down to her feet, which had small slip-on shoes on them. Her wide smile revealed a set of blunt but pointed teeth, her eyes lacked colour, and she had shoulder length, curly black hair.

Tara stared at the picture for a few moments, impressed at the immense skill taken to draw it, before going back to the conversation.

BL: That's you?  
BL: Well, I don't know if you are truly a troll  
BL: But you are quite a talented artist!  
SG: you reaLLy think so? ]:D  
BL: Yeah!  
BL: I wish I could draw half as good as you  
SG: weLL, i do bEliEvE we'LL mEEt EvEntuaLLy  
SG: so i'd be haPPy to teach!  
BL: I'd be grateful  
SG: oh, nearly fOrgOt!

Another link popped up, and Tara eagerly clicked on it. This time, the page displayed a cartoonish drawing of a different male, scrawny, and grumpier looking troll, with a pair of wavy horns protruding from the sides of his head. Just as Tarlia, the troll had colourless eyes and black hair, though most of his hair was hid under a flat brimmed cap, reminiscent of young lad from the nineteenth century. In fact, his entire look seemed ripped straight from the 1800's, with a muddy brown bunch of garments that passed for a waist length jacket, button up shirt, long legged suspenders, and flat soled shoes. What stood out amongst his look, and the dreary city set behind him, were his snake like features, specifically the slits that were in place of his pupils, and the pair of small fangs that came from his scowling look.

SG: it's my moIraIl!  
SG: his name is carthus  
BL: You keep saying 'moirail'  
BL: What _is_ that?  
SG: oh, you should ask carthus  
SG: he'd be glad to talk your ear oFF!  
BL: Well never-the-less, you're still quite talented  
BL: I might have to get you to draw me some day!  
SG: weLL, SuRpRiSe then!  
SG: AlreAdy DiD  
SG: hErE! ]:)

As promised, Tara opened the link to find a picture of not only her, but Matt as well, in the same art style. It was a scarily accurate depiction of the two: depicting Tara's short, chubby stature, auburn hair, caramel skin and her hazel eyes, while also showing Matt's average build, chestnut hair, white skin and brown eyes.

BL: Jeez  
BL: These are spot on  
SG: yes, i'd hope so!  
SG: carthus and i have bEEn watching you for a long time  
SG: observing your cUltUre, cuStomS  
SG: it's aLL quite INtErEstINg!  
SG: and i can't place it, but i have this strange INfATuATIoN with you in pARticulAR!  
BL: Oh…  
BL: …  
BL: Really?  
SG: yeah!  
SG: it's just with your weird relIgIon, easy-to-APProAch dEmEanour  
SG: and on top of ThaT, you're preTTy as weLL!  
BL: …  
BL: …  
BL: …  
BL: Well, I don't know what to say  
BL: Can I ask something though?  
SG: shOOt!  
BL: If you are a troll  
BL: Like a REAL one…  
BL: Does your race, or species, or whatever  
BL: Have genders?  
SG: of course!  
BL: and you're a female?  
SG: MMM-hMM  
BL: Well that's…  
BL: Good to know  
BL: Listen, do you mind if I talk to you later?  
BL: I got some stuff to think about  
SG: yeah, carthus wiLL proBaBly want to speak with you later anYwaY!  
SG: plEasurE talking with you, tArA!

SlipperyGough (SG) ceased Trolling BaptisingLilac (BL)

Tara sat silently in front of her computer, simply staring at her computer. She didn't know what she was waiting for; Matt to message her again, or a sign from God himself. Just something to signal her to do something. But instead she sat there, thinking about the previous conversation she had. She opened up the link to the drawing of Tarlia, just to help her think, though all it did was give her even more confused feelings. She could talk to Matt, though what good would that do when the guy can't go five seconds without turning the topic into something about him. Guy was kind of impulsive, but he was better than nothing. Then again, Tarlia spoke of another troll in their session, Carthus. Maybe he was the person to talk to? Though she didn't want to bother him, she barely wanted to talk with her closest friend about it. Eventually, she came to the conclusion to simply push her feelings away, not wanting to bother anyone with her problems. She instead opened up her dialogue box with Matt, and tried contacting him.

BaptisingLilac (BL) began Pestering DailySpelunker (DS)

BL: Hey Matt, you get contacted as well by people claiming to be trolls?  
BL: Matt?  
BL: Gosh, you must've  
BL: Guess I'll wait

And as she waited for a response, Tara's mind began to wander again. She had a lot to think about.


	3. Day 5

**AN- We'll be moving through the first few parts of the game pretty fast, since it's pretty much the same as the comic. You know, moving through the Medium, levelling up, all that shit.**

DailySpelunker (DS) began Pestering BaptisingLilac (BL)

DS: bjdbkjvbdfkjsbvkjeuur  
BL: Matt?  
DS: dhuvdshuiuhv dsuhfuidhiudcv  
BL: You okay Matt?  
BL: Gosh, what's happening in your game?  
DS: hsuhfudduvndnvdundsni FUCK  
DS: FUCKING STUPID IMPS  
DS: THERES SO FUCKIN MANY  
BL: Matt, calm down  
BL: And turn caps lock off  
DS: fine, whatev  
DS: but my point stands that I hate these shitlords  
DS: gollyfuck hang on

Matt bashed away another golden imp with the hilt of his Collector's Tomahawk, which he had to make do as his strife weapon in place of a gun when another imp had eaten it. Both Matt and Tara had had a smooth entry to the Medium, aside from Matt having seemingly a lot less time than Tara to do it. Upon entering, the two had instantly begun following the walkthrough, and built up their respective towers. Much to Tara's dismay, she used a simple knife as her strife weapon, using Bladekind, while Matt used Axekind, and they had both found their respective lands, the Land of Dark and Slate and the Land of Pendulums and Ticking, from Tarlia. Matt was about to enter the first gate while Tara was only a quarter way there.

Matt swung around and behind him, slicing an imp in half with his weapon, an axe made from combining a tomahawk and one of Matt's collector edition videogames. The weapon was decent enough, aside from losing a sweet figurine form his collector's box, but it killed things, and that's all Matt cared about. He could hear the thumping behind him of his sprite, which in his haste to enter the medium he had combined with a video game, which in turn created Marinesprite, a sprite of the main character from his favourite military shooter. He leapt backwards, avoiding another swipe from an imp, and hid behind his dark green sprite.

"Hey man, you mind defending me while I take this?" Matt asked, looking up.

The marine gave a thumbs up, replying, "Affirmative," before going back to his mass murder.

DS: hang on, imma get to the top of this house you're building

Matt jumped up again, weapon in hand, and helped his sprite mop up the rest of the imps. After, he walked back through the replication of his house, one of many, intent on eliminating the remaining imps and entering the first gate. He typed into his Portable Computer, combined from his PC and a phone, as he walked.

DS: anyway,  
DS: how you feelin' 'bout these trolls  
BL: They seem nice enough  
BL: Carthus tends to drab on a bit long, but Tarlia seems really cool  
DS: yeah, she does  
DS: what do you reckon my chances are with hot troll lady anyway  
DS: I wanna go for it once we all meet up  
DS: if she's anything like her drawing, I mean  
BL: I…  
BL: Wouldn't know  
DS: you know, I'm gonna do it anyway  
DS: do trolls even have…  
DS: eh I'm sure they do  
BL: Can we change the topic?  
BL: Please?  
DS: whats up T?  
DS: you love telling me off about stuff like this  
BL: I don't want to talk about it  
BL: Please  
DS: hmm  
DS: T  
DS: is there something there  
DS: between you and her, I mean  
BL: What?  
BL: No! Where'd you get that impression?  
DS: I dunno  
DS: just a thought  
BL: I mean, even if I did, I couldn't do anything about  
DS: you're not improving your argument  
DS: anyway, suppose you won't mind if I hit her up then  
BL: No!  
BL: I mean yes!  
BL: I mean…  
BL: I don't know  
DS: damn T  
DS: as soon as we meet up in the session  
DS: we are having a SERIOUS conversation  
DS: but I'll lay off Tarlia  
DS: just for you  
DS: so let's get through the first gate, hmm?  
BL: Let's do it

DailySpelunker (DS) ceased Pestering BaptisingLilac (BL)

Tara closed the chat log, and slammed closed her laptop, throwing it in front of her in a fit. She then laid down on her side, curled into a ball, and simply listened to herself breathe. Matt spoke a little of the truth, for a rare moment; Tara needed to talk to someone in person about her newfound feelings. Just someone to vent to. She felt a small nudge on her back, and slowly rolled around to face her sprite, which was made from her prized _Jesus Christ: Superstar_ figure of the man himself, as well as one of the unfortunate imps who had touched the sprite and thereafter combine with it.

"Are you okay, my child?" the green coloured sprite asked.

"Yeah it's just…" Tara thought for a second, "Never mind. It certainly isn't anything I want to discuss with you."

"Why not? If you wish to confess-"

"If you could just stop with the whole act. I'm not in the mood." Tara sighed, and stood up to face her Superstarsprite. "I'm just thinking about things, you know? This whole game is making me reconsider things." She walked past her sprite, making sure to avoid eye contact as she was sure it knew what she was thinking about.

SuperstarSprite made a concerned expression, before going to follow Tara. Tara began to feel a strange feeling of déjà vu, even though she was sure she'd never done this before. Maybe it was the way she just kept progressing through her house again and again while it was being duplicated in order to get to the top? Maybe it was the constant slaughter, much to her disliking, of religiously dressed imps using her Antique needles. Yet she couldn't shake the feeling of having done this all once before.

As she rounded the corner, she crashed into an unbeknownst object, and fell to the ground in a hard crash. She rubbed her back, and looked up to the figure standing in front of her. It was too tall to be an imp, nor did it wear their typical attire, instead dressed in a red hoody and denim jeans. She only realised who it was when she noticed the figures face.

"Matt?" Tara blurted out, rubbing her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming, though it was definitely Matt; chestnut slicked back hair, an impressive stubbly beard for his young age, and brown eyes identified him as so.

"How you doin'?" Matt said, calm as can be and in his thick, Jersey-esque accent.

"How am I 'doing'? What are you even talking about?" She stood up, and brushed the dust off her dress. "How are you doing? How are you even _here?_ "

"It's a long story. But long story short, sorry about this."

"About wh-" Tara didn't even finish her sentence, before Matt raised his hand, clenched it into a fist, then clocked Tara across her head, knocking her clean out. She fell to the ground hard, her weapon cluttering to the floor. Matt knelt down beside her, picked her up, and took her to her room, placing her on her bed to keep her comfortable. Once he was sure, he went back out and set up Tara's laptop, accessing her Pesterchum.

BaptisingLilac (BL) started Pestering DailySpelunker (DS)

BL: dude  
BL: yo matt pick up  
DS: jeez what's up  
DS: kinda busy  
DS: but why the heck are you typing like that  
BL: nah man, Tara's out at the moment  
BL: I'm you  
BL: from the future  
DS: you know what?  
DS: with all the shit going on, I'm not allowed to not believe you  
BL: yeah man, shits crazy  
DS: how you time traveling man  
BL: oh, you don't know  
BL: we're the dude of time  
DS: oh  
DS: that's fuckin' sweet  
BL: yeah man, but shit gets fucked UP in the future  
BL: it starts with Tara dying, because we get too busy fighting shit to pay attention to her  
BL: she doesn't even make it to the first gate  
BL: without her, in my timeline, I was trapped after the second gate  
BL: so I took my time  
BL: pun intended  
BL: and tried practicing my time powers  
BL: eventually, I learned how to actually time travel  
BL: and I've come back here to fix some things  
BL: that's why I knocked Tara out  
DS: knocked her out?  
DS: how  
BL: just clocked her one  
DS: glad alternate universe me isn't afraid of a little domestic violence  
BL: hey fuck you  
BL: it was either that, or tell her that her entire religion is a lie?  
BL: that it's the game that created the universe, not her God?  
DS: alright alright  
DS: anything else you need to fix  
BL: nah  
BL: but while I'm here, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to teach you how to use a couple of powers  
DS: you sure  
DS: it won't create like  
DS: a paradox  
BL: nah bro  
BL: we're a time player, 'member?  
DS: fair enough

Matt absconded from the roof of his house, allowing his sprite to finish the fight against the two golden ogres that had taken residence there. He jogged down his stairs, computer in one arm and axe in the other, and took his place at the bottom step.

SporaticSlither (SS) began Trolling DailySpelunker (DS)

SS: Dipsssssshit  
SS: Have you made it to the firsssssst gate yet?  
SS: Ansssssswer me damn it  
DS: I'm here dude, calm down  
DS: I'm kind of busy at the moment mastering my powers and shit  
SS: I don't care, we got bussssssinessssss to disssssscussssss  
SS: How far are both of you?  
DS: I'm nearly through  
DS: Tara on the other hand  
SS: What have you two been doing?!  
DS: I've been learning my powers from an alternate future me  
DS: Tara was knocked out by said alternate Matt  
DS: Other than that, Tara's having some serious religion problems  
SS: Sssssserioussssssly?  
SS: What bullsssssshit issssss it now?  
DS: Well, you may not get this  
DS: But she has this massive crush on Tarlia  
DS: And her religion doesn't really allow that sort of thing  
SS: What? A relationsssssship between trollssssss and humanssssss?  
DS: Nah, you wouldn't get it  
SS: Well it doessssssn't matter, becausssssse Tarlia issssss fucking inssssssane  
SS: Take it from me, Tara dodged a bullet there  
DS: Well, she's not that bad  
DS: A little peppy but I wouldn't say crazy  
SS: No, you haven't sssssseen her real sssssside  
SS: Not only doessssss sssssshe have cerulean blood  
SS: Which makessssss her one of the higher classssssessssss in troll ssssssociety  
SS: Troll women are fucking mental by themsssssselvessssss  
DS: I don't know man, I've seen some crazy women  
SS: Have you sssssseen any with assssss much of a fasssssscination with dead bodiessssss assssss her?  
DS: Wait, what?  
SS: What'ssssss the human word for it?  
SS: You know, where ssssssomeone hassssss a borderline ssssssexual interesssssst in dead bodiessssss?  
DS: You saying she's into…  
DS: Like, necrophilia?  
SS: I guessssss?  
SS: You'd be ssssssurprissssssed how many romantic sssssscenariossssss sssssshe conjuressssss up per day  
SS: And they're not even random bodiessssss  
SS: Sssssshe genuinely killssssss people to sssssstart matesssssspritssssss with them  
DS: Oh sweet Jesus  
DS: Well, I'm not sure we should mention that while she's having her whole crisis  
SS: You know, you aren't very ssssssympathetic to your friendssssss pointlessssss problemssssss  
DS: I care, really I do  
DS: Why do you think I'm keeping stuff from her?  
DS: But I know she can get through this  
DS: So I'm not really worried  
DS: I plan on having a talk about her problems, but I've put that way off  
DS: She'll get through this, I know it  
SS: Well, assssss your leader, I command you two to hurry the fuck up and get through the gatessssss  
SS: And if sssssshe really inssssssisssssstssssss, I'll put in a good word with Tarlia  
SS: And uh  
SS: Tell her sssssshe hassssss my condolencessssss for her problemssssss

SporaticSlither (SS) ceased Trolling DailySpelunker (DS) 


	4. Day 7-3:00

"GAH," Matt cried out, slicing through an Ogre with his Collectors Tomahawk, as his Marinesprite grabbed it from behind and suplexed it into the flat roof. The thing still got up, even after the beating it'd been getting for the past ten minutes, though Matt was having plenty of fun fighting it. It also gave him a chance to use his newly learned power; the ability to literally steal time from these monsters. He'd been putting it to good use, though had no clue if it was even affecting the thing, as it showed no signs of aging. It had to, right? He was doing everything his alternate self had told him to do. Either way, it didn't matter, as his sprite delivered the final blow to the Ogre, which then spewed out a mountain of Grist that Matt hastily collected. From his position, the first gateway was within his grasp, just a few feet away, but instead of hastily making his way through it, he took a moment to contact Tarlia about his situation.

DailySpelunker (DS) began Pestering SlipperyGough (SG)

DS: yo hot troll girl  
DS: damn it I said I wouldn't do that anymore  
DS: oh hai trolly  
DS: yes, a reference to a terrible movie  
DS: perfect  
SG: oh, maTT!  
SG: i DiD not ExpEct you  
SG: strange, i UsUaLLy do  
DS: well that's probably 'cos I learned mo' fucking time powers  
SG: wait, time powers!? ]:0  
SG: but how?  
DS: alternate timeline me  
DS: came from a couple weeks into the future, because apparently I fucked things up pretty bad  
DS: got Tara killed, and she couldn't help me enter the medium  
DS: ended up dooming our session  
SG: so what'd he do to fix it?  
DS: punched Tara square in the face  
SG: what?! ]:0  
SG: is she aLL right!?  
DS: she's fine, just unconscious  
DS: anyway, long story short, I gotta pay more attention to her  
SG: this is truly SuRpRISIng!  
SG: my lUSUS predicts a lot of things  
SG: but they nEvEr said aNythiNg about this  
DS: lusus?  
SG: i SuPPoSe you would consider it a cAREtAkER  
SG: EvEn though i would care to disagrEE!  
DS: and it predicts things  
SG: yup!  
SG: though ThaT is a TraiT UniqUe to my lUSUS  
DS: how much has it predicted?  
SG: not as much as i'd like!  
SG: tHougH it has mENtioNEd a lot NoNe-the-leSS!  
SG: such as the god tier ENtEriNg our SeSSion  
SG: carthus and i teaming up with you  
SG: and a time player saving our EntirE SeSSion!  
DS: wait  
DS: time player?  
DS: I'm supposed to save the session?  
SG: so it would sEEm!  
SG: some may EvEn consider you a hero! ]:D  
DS: damn  
DS: hope your lusus is right then  
DS: I'd kick ass as a hero  
SS: Don't let it go to your head  
DS: woah shit  
DS: How did you get here, Carthus?  
SS: It'ssssss called a group chat, dumbassssss  
SS: Look it up  
SG: hi ya, carthus!  
SG: why'd you join the cONversatiON?  
SS: Jusssssst making ssssssure the human issssss on track  
SS: How closssssse are you?  
DS: I'm pretty much there, man  
SG: why do you type a diFFErEnt way towards carthus, maTT?  
SG: poSSible flushed fEElings confirmed? ];)  
DS: God damnit I don't know what that means  
DS: But if you're implying romantic feelings, there's nothing there  
DS: Ain't into dudes  
SS: What the fuck doessssss that have to do with anything?  
DS: It's a human thing  
SS: Whatever  
SS: Where'ssssss the other human?  
DS: Sleeping  
SS: Are you sssssserioussssss?  
DS: She couldn't really control it  
BL: Calm down, I'm awake everybody  
BL: First question  
BL: WHAT THE HECK MATT?!  
DS: Wasn't me, T  
DS: Alternate future Matt saved your life  
DS: If anything, you should be thanking me!  
BL: :(  
SS: Lissssssten you two, get over it  
SS: Tara, it wasssssn't Matt who punched you, sssssso don't blame him for it  
SS: Matt, congratulationssssss on being the hero, but don't think it meanssssss you can ssssssit on your assssss expecting fate to do the work for you  
SS: Are we clear?  
DS: Yeah man, you got it  
BL: Yeah, I guess  
SS: Good  
SS: I'm not your leader for nothing  
DS: Speaking of which, who made you leader?  
SS: Tarlia did  
SS: Her Lussssssussssss predicted it  
DS: We don't even get a vote  
SS: Why the hell would there be a vote  
SS: Would you rather be the leader, and deal with a crazily peppy troll who'ssssss into necrophilia, an overdramatic human girl having a teenage crissssssissssss, and me, a complete asssssshole?  
DS: Fine man, jeez  
DS: You're the leader  
SS: Good, then sssssstop contacting ussssss and go through you're gate  
DS: Why are you always pushing us?  
DS: Where the fuck are you guys?  
SG: wE'vE AlreAdy EntErEd our first gate!  
SG: in fact, i'm past my second!  
DS: How are you doing this so quickly  
SS: Becausssssse we're not fucking around learning powerssssss from alternate sssssselvessssss or being knocked out  
SS: Sssssso enter the gate, and build up the resssssst of Tara'ssssss housssssse  
DS: One step ahead of you there  
DS: Finished that while I was learning my powers  
SS: Oh, well colour me ssssssurprissssssed  
BL: Wait, who's a necrophiliac?  
DS: Your little troll crush  
SG: wait, crush?  
BL: HAHAHA FUNNY JOKE MATT

BaptisingLilac (BL) left the group

DS: Whoops  
SS: Whatever  
SS: Assssss long assssss sssssshe getssssss through the gate, we'll be good  
SS: But it wassssss kind of a dick move ssssssaying that  
DS: Hey, don't blame me  
SG: does she reaLLy have red fEElings for me?  
DS: Probably  
SG: oh  
SG: cOOl! ]:D  
SS: Yeah great  
SS: We've all got our quadrantssssss ssssssorted out  
SS: Fucking great, really  
SS: JUSSSSSST FINISSSSSSH YOUR TASSSSSSK

SporaticSlither (SS) left the group

DS: damn, dude's got some issues  
DS: how did he become friends with _you  
_ SG: yes, it is UnUsUal for a bUrgUndy blOOd and a cErulEan blOOd to ASSociAte with each other  
SG: let alone bEcomE moIraIls!  
DS: ok what the hell is with your blood types  
SG: oh!  
SG: weLL, a troLLs blOOd cOlOur dEtErminEs whErE they are on our HieRaRchy  
SG: bUrgUndy is the lowest, which is carthus  
SG: and cErulEan is the FiFth HigHest, which is me!  
SG: but carthus and i have kNowN each other for SwEEpS  
SG: he was ActuALLy a servant to me, as was his luSuS to mine!  
SG: i gueSS we just grew on each other  
DS: how the fuck are your lusus able to be servants  
DS: you know what, I don't care  
DS: that's another can of worms I sure as hell don't want to open  
DS: ttyl  
SG: byeya, maTT! ]:)

DailySpelunker (DS) ceased Pestering SlipperyGough (SG)

Matt closed his Personal Computer, slotting it into his sylladex with the rest of his junk, and jumped up onto his feet. He grabbed his tomahawk as he did, seeing the silver glow in contrast to the gloomy scenery consisting of mountains and cloudy skies, and adjusted his flat-brimmed Yankees baseball cap so the brim covered the back of his head. He looked towards the first gate, a dark green spiralling circle, and then towards his sprite. Maybe he wasn't too hasty in prototyping his collector's edition game; his Marinesprite had proved itself as a competent fighter, but then again the thing never told anything but riddles about what Matt had to do in the Medium. Speaking of which…

Matt waved his hand to signal the sprites attention, and questioned, "Yo army dude, I got a question, and please dear god give me a straight answer; what is waiting for me on the other side of this gate?"

"I'm afraid that information is classified as a clear answer, sir," the sprite began, his helmet showing none of his emotions, "but I can tell you in the form of a riddle!"

"God damnit, you are seriously worthless for anything besides fighting."

"Sir, if it were up to me, I'd give you the answer now. But I'm afraid the nature of the game disables me from doing that. Riddles are complete bullshit, and I'd rather be slaughtering these damn imp terrorists than coming up on the spot with complete cryptic bullshit, but nothing to do about it."

Matt sighed, letting his frustration be known to the sprite, and slid his hand down his face. "Well go ahead, whatever."

"In the Land of Pendulums and Ticking lies a sacred city, distressed by the black forces and under siege by the ruler of your land. Many may take the path easiest, yet know not of the rewards yielded by the more treacherous. Upon your journey, you may learn of the true meaning of your life, as well as things that can shape your perception of reality."

Matt stared at the Marinesprite for a few seconds with an unimpressed look on his face, before giving it a frustrated grunt. "What the fuck does that even mean!?"

The sprite shrugged, and explained, "You may want to talk to the locals to learn more."

"Thanks for the advice, buddy. Really." Matt walked past his sprite and up to the gate, which was just a short hop until he could touch it. He looked behind him, and gestured towards the gate. "You coming?"

"Negative. I must remain on your house until you come back."

"Fucking fantastic." Matt prepped himself for the gate, tomahawk in one hand and the other balled into a fist, and made a jump into his gate, his last sight being of a thumbs up from his sprite.

Tara slammed her fist into the wall for the sixth time, her face scrunched up into pure frustration as her sprite watched on, calmly floating up and down in one spot. The wall had only started barely cracking by this point, but a hole the size of her fist had begun to indent into the wall, threatening to crumble at any given moment. Tara's laptop sat in the corner of the room, haphazardly thrown after her exit from the group chat, constantly notifying her of a message from someone, though the alert began grating her ears.

"You know this may not solve anything," Superstarsprite told her, crossing its arms.

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up!" Tara exclaimed, the words burning her throat as she shouted them.

The sprite looked upon her with shock, "Tara! I understand you are frustrated, but that gives you no right to swear!"

"Oh cut it out! Hell is not a freaking swear! If you don't like it, get out of my sight!"

"Oh Tara, sweetie. You really should talk to me about your problems."

"No! For one thing, you're completely biased on the topic, and secondly you only speak in stupid freaking riddles! So just SHUT UP!" Tara's breaths grew heavier, and the sprite was obviously dismayed by her outburst, though she didn't care.

"Well, if not me, then maybe there is someone else?" It nodded its head over to Tara's laptop, which was still notifying her incessantly. Tara groaned, but reluctantly followed it's advice, walking over and opening up her laptop.

SlipperyGough (SG) began Trolling BaptisingLilac (BL)

SG: tArA, plEasE talk to me!  
SG: ]:(  
BL: Listen, I'm sorry for before  
SG: ]:D  
SG: oh you don't have to be soRRy!  
SG: i'm hErE to help with your crISIS!  
BL: …  
BL: How so?  
SG: by teLLing you the TruTh!  
SG: ThaT your relIgIon is just a big lie!  
BL: What?  
SG: do you know the nature of the game?  
SG: weLL, when a SeSSion is won, the game crEatEs a univErsE due to a few actions from the players  
SG: i could explain EvErything, but ThaT would take hours!  
SG: to kEEp it short, your 'god' teChniCaLLy doesn't exist!  
SG: it was just another player ThaT crEatEd your univErsE  
SG: just as we wiLL!  
BL: That's…  
BL: You're lying!  
SG: oh, but i'm not!  
SG: as we play the game, you'LL sEE!  
BL: No, it can't…  
BL: I…  
SG: tArA, are you bETTEr yet?  
BL: Better?!  
BL: Why would that make me feel better?!  
BL: You've just told me that my religion  
BL: Something I've believed in for years  
BL: Is all just a gigantic lie!  
BL: Why would that make me feel better?!  
SG: i just THougHT…  
BL: I…  
BL: Please don't let anyone contact me

BaptisingLilac (BL) ceased Pestering SlipperyGough (SG)

SG: oh dear ]:(

For just a seconds, Matt felt and saw nothing, just pure blackness, like falling through a void, then a second later he felt nothing but pain as he slammed head first into a solid grassy surface. The rest of his body went limp as it impacted with the ground, and his weapon slid over to a nearby rock. He laid there for a moment, before leaning up on his arms and knees, looking over to his weapon, and the subsequent figure sitting on the rock. A human? No, there were a couple of horns protruding from their head. Wait, horns? Matt looked further up, directly at the figure; grey skin, a loose dress that was cut off above their knees, an overcoat extending to their feet, blue outlines near their eyes, short wavy hair, and a curvy cut figure. Matt knew who it was.

"Hi Matthew!" Tarlia greeted in a weirdly thick (Australian?) accent, waving her hand at him.


	5. Day 7: 3:30

"Tarlia…?" Matt asked cautiously, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Indeed!" the dark haired troll confirmed, standing up upon the rock she previously sat and spreading out her arms. "It is I!" She proceeded to hop down from the rock, her arms still widespread as she did, and she gestured Matt for an embrace. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person!" The smile on her face seemed sincere enough, and she seemed genuinely happy to meet Matt, but Matt hesitated for a few moments, still unsure as to if the troll wasn't a hallucination. Eventually, he complied though, letting the troll pull him tightly into her embrace. She was surprisingly strong, considering her figure, and Matt grunted slightly as he felt slight pain coming from his back.

He pulled away quickly, rubbing his back as he did, and sighed. "Yeah, it's great to finally see you in the flesh. Guess you weren't lying about the whole 'beautiful troll lady' thing, huh?"

Tarlia twirled around, her short, white dress flailing around with her, before coming to a halt once she'd made a three-sixty degree turn. "So it seems!"

"But how? Where did you even come from? Is this even possible? From what Carthus told me, _you_ shouldn't be here! You should be on your own planet!"

"But I was! I finally entered my third gate, after all the teenage drama."

"Third gate? You're already up to your third fucking gate?! How are you doing this so quickly? We are in the same session, right?"

"Yes, I assure you we are!" Tarlia walked past Matt, looking up the mountain directly above them, and at Matt's house sitting dangerously on the edge. "To answer your question; I don't actually rightfully know! I was talking to Tara, telling her about her fake religion, and then I turn up here! If I remember correctly, I think I may have seen you in my hive when I was teleported."

Matt rubbed his forehead, and groaned, "Okay, firstly, my alternate selves are really getting up to some motherfucking time shenanigans, secondly," Matt gestured for Tarlia to come closer, which she happily complied, "YOU TOLD TARA HER RELIGION WAS A LIE!?"

Tarlia recoiled away from Matt, her ears ringing from Matt shouting so close to her. "I thought it was a good idea! You know, to help her accept who she was!"

"Where the hell is she? How did she react?"

"About as well as you'd expect. She isn't answering any of my greetings. I'm worried she may do something rash!"

"Should I contact her?"

"She told me to not let anyone else talk to her either."

Matt thought for a few moments, examining the mountain as he did. It was during that moment that he discovered how tired he actually was; he hadn't slept in two days, instead opting to stay up and play the game. He turned back to Tarlia.

"Yo, I don't think I want to deal with anything else today. What's the status of that God Tier?"

Tarlia placed her arms behind her back, "I believe their session should be merging with ours momentarily."

"And what does that mean?"

"It means that our and their sessions shall become a singular session, and the remaining players in theirs will be transported into ours through by their Void player."

"Are there any others beside the God Tier?"

"I don't know, I'm afraid!"

"Well, to be completely honest, I'm feeling extremely woozy from my lack of sleep. Can I take a nap?"

"Oh, you can! In fact, I highly recommend it! It'll allow you to get in touch with your Dream Self!"

"There's more to this stupid game? God damnit, whatever. Let's get in touch with my Dream Self, I guess."

Tarlia clapped her hands a couple of times, and made a short yet giddy hop. "Great! But where will you sleep…?"

Matt began to lie down of the grass, taking in the strong scent of what seemed to be recently cut grass. "I'm a man, I'll just sleep on the ground. Rough it up like Man vs Wild."

"Whatever you say, Matt! I shall see you there!"

"See me wher-" Matt was unable to finish his thought, as Tarlia's small foot was planted firmly in his face, and he was knocked out almost instantly.

Matt awoke an unknown amount of time later, if time had passed at all, in a strange, new room. He let out a groan, sitting up in a king size bed in a dark green room, strongly reminiscent of his own room back home. In fact, the room seemed to be an exact duplicate to his own, complete with his collection of special edition video games on one side and his work desk on the other. He glanced down at his new, bright, and golden coloured set of clothes; a long sleeved and baggy shirt coupled with long and loose pants. He made a noise of disgust, hating his new clothes, and jumped off his bed. There was one difference between his own room at home and this one; this room had some strange drawings scrawled across the walls of some sort of monster. The thing had long, slinking arms, though no legs were seen on it. Its body was contorted in an unnatural position, though it still remained quite humanoid, and in place of its face sat a gaping hole. What Matt did recognise was the pair of horns on its head, which were identical to Tarlia's. Matt examined the drawings closely for a few moments, before he heard an impact on the other side of the room, from a wide open window, and turned around.

"Hello again!" Tarlia greeted him, giving a wave. She wore clothing similar to Matts, albeit with a dress akin to her waking self's dress as opposed to Matts own clothes.

"Oh. That's what you meant when you said 'see you there'," Matt sighed, walking over to the window and peering outside to the golden city below.

"Welcome to Prospit, one of Skaia's moons, and home to the forces of light." She made a sweeping gesture over the city.

"Wow, it certainly is bright, huh?"

Tarlia giggled, stepping out of the window and beginning to float in mid-air. Matt stood there for a moment, not sure if he should follow, but Tarlia held out her hand to him, signalling that he should. He reluctantly took it, and with her floated down to the city grounds. On the city grounds were various humanoid figures dressed in military clothing alike to Matts Marinesprite, but they were a bright and pure white colour. They both stood in the middle of the city grounds, a decently wide expanse of clear land without buildings, with a few of Prospit's people surrounding them, looking on in awe.

"Why are they looking at us?" Matt asked Tarlia, glancing around.

"I assume it's because their Prince and Princess are awake!"

"Wait, Prince? We're royalty?"

"Not exactly. It's hard to explain, but they have been waiting for us to wake for a while now!"

"Huh. I'm a hero _and_ a Prince? It's like a fairy-tale." Matt looked back at Tarlia. "So do you know whether anyone else from that other session is alive yet?"

"Oh, what a coincidence! The answer to your question is coming now!" Tarlia pointed past Matt, but he hadn't the chance to look as he heard the rush of footsteps, and a hard punch sending him flying across the square, a few feet away from Tarlia.

"Stay down, motherfucker!" a raspy, yet girlish voice ordered him. Matt got onto his hands and knees, and faced the source of the voice. Stood there, panting, was a tall, athletic looking troll girl, seeming about six foot four in height, wearing clothes exactly like Matts. Her hair was made into several black braids, clearly showing her wavy horns, and her face was covered in makeup; so much makeup, in fact, that it made her look like some kind of clown, or more so like a Juggalo. She bore her pointy teeth at him, a look of pure anger in her eyes.

She turned to Tarlia, placing her arm in front of Tarlia. "Stay back, Tarli, I got this."

"Tarli?" Matt whispered to himself.

Tarlia pushed the troll girls arm down, standing in front of her with her arms in front. "No, no, no, no, no, no! He's not an en-"

Tarlia was gently pushed out of the way, "I'm not hearing it. This fucker is DEAD!"

Matt began to stand up, wiping a streak of blood from his mouth, "Calm down you Juggalo piece of shit. I'm on your side!"

"Juggalo…? How do you know about our religion, human?"

Matt scoffed, then broke into a laugh, "Oh my god, your religion is based around the Insane Clown Posse?! That's fucking hilarious!"

"Gah, whatever! You're fucking dead anyway!"

Matt raised his fists, "Fine, bring it on, A-cup!"

"What the fuck's an A-cup?"

"It means you have small tits, you dumb bitch!"

"Oh that's it, you're dead!" The troll began to sprint at him, but Tarlia stepped in between them before she could.

"Hysees, stop!" Tarlia commanded. "He's friendly! And he's necessary to the game! So please don't kill him until we create the new universe!" Tarlia proceeded to take the other trolls, who seemed to be named Hysees, hands in her own. Tarlia stared caringly into Hysees' eyes, gently caressing her hands, and whispered, "Please do it. For me?"

Hysees stared directly into Tarlia's eyes, unflinching, before eventually settling into a neutral and content state. "Fine. Just for you."

Tarlia gave a warm smile, and proceeded to push back one of Hysees' braids behind her head, clearing up Hysees' face. "Thanks honey, I appreciate it." Tarlia then pulled the other troll into a hug, which the other happily complied with, before parting ways. Tarlia then turned to Matt, taking a hold of Hysees' hand and leading her to the chestnut coloured hair friend. "Now, what do you have to say to Matt?"

Hysees looked away, embarrassed by her predicament, before spitting out, "Sorry for trying to kill you for touching Tarlia."

Matt chuckled, "That's it? I touched her and you decided to murder me?" Hysees shrugged. "Well whatever. Apology accepted."

Tarlia then proceeded to take Matt's hand, and asked him, "Now, what do you say to Hysees?"

"What _do_ I say to Hysees?" This comment earned him a hurtful jab in the ribs. "Ow! Fine, sorry for insulting your weird religion."

Hysees looked at the teen expectantly, "And?"

"And what?" Matt's eyes lit up with realisation. "Oh my god, is this about calling you A-cup?" Hysees narrowed her eyes at Matt, giving him his answer. "Whatever, sorry for saying you had small breasts, which is a weird thing to be self-conscious about as a Juggalo, but as I said, whatever."

Tarlia let go of both of them, letting out a squeal and clapping quickly a couple of times. "Great! We're all friends now! So, Hysees, I don't know whether this'd be a bad question to ask, but how many players remain in your session?"

Hysees thought for a moment, "Last I knew, there was me, Jaloon, Pially, and Gertrand left. Although Gertrand went insane and used his Prince of Life powers to try and kill us, so I have no idea if he counts."

"Oh no, so two of you died?"

"Yeah, although that was more Yeman's fault than Gertrands. Idiot got himself and Mahnda killed in one battle."

Tarlia looked down for a second, not revealing her emotions, then looked up with a hesitant smile on her face. "Well, you guys are alive at least! So I suppose that's a win. Everyone in our session is alive; Carthus, Matt obviously, and another human girl named Tara, who we've, uh, lost contact with for the time being."

"Okaaaaayyyy? Well I'll try not to kill her if I see her." Hysees looked around at the crowd that had formed during their confrontation, consisting of over two dozen Prospitans. "Yeah, it's great that we have seven people to take on one guy. Hopefully someone comes up with a plan." She made her way past Tarlia and Matt, and pushed a couple of Prospitans to the ground to get through the crowd. "I'm going to find my tower, and set up a group chat for us all."

"Alright hun, see ya!" Tarlia made a heart sign with her hands, directed at Hysees, whom returned the gesture hesitantly. Matt swore he saw her blush purple, though he couldn't be sure. After they had lost sight of Hysees, the remaining two turned to each other.

"So," Matt began, "she seems nice."

"Yes, she certainly knows how to make an impression!"

"How'd you calm her down? She seemed pretty protective of you."

"Well, you know how it is!"

Matt narrowed his eyes, "No, I don't. Tarlia, is there something between you two I should know about?"

"Well before you make accusations, we're not romantically involved. Well, yes and no."

"Tarlia…"

"It's kind of weird to tell you, but I suppose you may be able to help me with a problem it's causing." She rubbed the back of her head nervously, and sighed. "Our relationship is purely, uh, sexual."

"I see."

"No, that's not it. I am, or I guess was, in sexual relationships with all my friends. Except for Carthus, of course, and Jaloon, the sweetie."

Matt stared at her open-mouthed, before sighing, "Holy shit, I never would've guessed. I can definitely see how that would be a problem."

Tarlia frowned, "I know! I need to break it off with them all, but how am I supposed to do that?"

"Listen, Hysees was going to set up a group chat, wasn't she? I'll help you talk to them, and we can break it off together. I'm sure they'll understand when you tell them you have actual feelings for another."

"I suppose."

Matt patted her shoulder, and walked past the crowd of Prospitans to the edge of the square, and leaned on the railing. Tarlia followed suit, coming up and standing next to him. The two surveyed the city, noting the extravagant architecture and the three golden spires that lorded over the city. Matt suddenly heard a commotion come from below, and glanced down to its source. Down below, he saw a few different Prospitans, in various sizes, alerting the presence of a large, hulking brute of a Prospitan, though this one was coloured black as opposed to white. Matt turned to Tarlia, who had noticed the scene as well.

"What the hell's happening down there?" Matt asked.

"I believe that is an agent from Derse, the rival moon! He seems to be up to no good!"

"We have to do something!"

"I don't know, seems as if we shouldn't get involved."

Matt grunted, "Fuck that. If he's fucking up our game, I got to do something."

Tarlia looked disapprovingly at him, "Matthew, what are you going to do about it anyway?"

Matt backed away from the railing, preparing for a run up in order to jump to the bridge below. "Put a stop to some motherfucking political shenanigans." With that, he ran up and cleared the railing in a single jump, and proceeded to land on the bridge below on with a loud _thump_. He landed on his feet, and looked towards the brute, who took a sword out from their military outfit, preparing to kill the Prospitans. He rushed forward, and threw a punch at the brute, causing him to stagger. He turned to face Matt, and his eyes grew wide when he did. Anger soon took his face, and he attacked Matt, slashing at him furiously. Matt dodged every slash, and threw another punch, knocking the brute back. He heard what seemed like cheers coming from the crowd, and smirked cockily at the brute. The brute ran forward again, but this time Matt didn't dodge, instead charging and knocking the hulking brute down to the ground. His sword slid across to Matt, who picked it up, and proceeded to stand in front of the brute. Tarlia finally came down from above and landed behind him, confused as to how he managed to pick up a weapon that wasn't part of his Strife Specubis, but watched on as Matt sliced off the brutes head.

Its body went limp, and his head rolled back, allowing Matt to catch it with his foot. Matt looked around at the crowd, now consisting of more than a dozen, and picked up the head with one arm and keeping the brutes sword in the other. He floated upwards, searching for some kind of town square, spotting one just a few miles from his position.

He turned to Tarlia, "You think there's any more?"

"Almost certainly. What are you planning to do with that head?"

Tarlia floated up beside him, as Matt began his way towards the town square. "Sending a message." He then made his way through the city, past all the truly extravagant architecture, intent on reaching the square. As he did, a large crowd of people amassed and started following him, starting with dozens, then a hundred, then almost three hundred by the end of his journey. He wasn't sure as to whether any more agents from Derse were watching, but he surely was hoping they were. He landed in the middle of the square, in front of a large fountain, and the Prospitans crowded around him. Among them was Tarlia, and the recently met Hysees, who had just gotten back from setting up a group chat. Matt stood on top of the deactivated fountain, and plunged the sword into the open hole, and then stuck the brutes head on top of it.

Hysees nudged Tarlia, signalling her attention. "What the fuck is that loser doing?" Tarlia shrugged in response, and Hysees looked back up at Matt, smiling slightly in respect for his action.

The crowd soon parted, making way for another Derse agent. This time, he was slightly smaller, and clearly angry at Matt's actions. Matt smirked at him, before sliding his thumb across his own throat to make his point clear; he was going to win, one way or another.


	6. Day 14

ElixerTrickster (EL) set up a Memo

ElixerTrickster added DailySpelunker (DS), SlipperyGough (SG), SporaticSlither (SS), BaptisingLilac (BL), ReeferApartheid (RF), and NotoriousCaptain (NC) to the memo

EL: fina-FUCKING-ly  
EL: this stupid piece of SHIT program makes me want to FUCKING hang myself  
SS: Oh sssssshit, look who it issssss  
EL: god DAMNIT carthus shut the FUCK up  
NC: I hop[- you ar[- not causing probl[-ms Hys[-[-s  
EL: the only problem I have is that piece of SHIT lowblood speaking to me  
SS: Hysssssseessssss, I sssssswear to whatever religion you hold dear, I will usssssse my telepathy to make you sssssslap the sssssshit out of yoursssssself  
EL: FUCK you you can't do anything  
EL: you son of a FUCKING BITCH you made me slap myself  
EL: I'm gonna kick the SHIT outta you  
SS: I'd like to ssssssee you try  
SG: plEasE do not fight!  
SG: we nEEd to work TogEThEr!  
SS: Yeah, sssssso sssssshut your gaping bulge holessssss and let me lead  
EL: lead  
EL: who the FUCK gave you permission to do that  
DS: I don't know, he's doing alright so far  
SS: Glad at leasssssst Matt sssssseessssss the big picture  
RF: yaeh dude jus roll wit it  
EL: FUCK you stoner stay the FUCK outta this  
DS: God damnit I don't know who everyone new is  
DS: Someone give us a quick rundown  
RF: I ned som clerefacation as wel  
DS: I have no idea what you just said  
SS: Sssssshut up for a ssssssecond  
SS: Here'ssssss the lowdown:  
SS: EL issssss Hysssssseessssss, and sssssshe capitalissssssessssss every sssssswear word sssssshe ssssssayssssss  
DS: Yes, I met her  
EL: FUCK you too  
DS: I didn't say anything  
EL: but you were going to  
DS: Go to hell  
SS: Sssssshut the hell up  
SS: Or I'll telepathically sssssslap the sssssshit out of both of you  
SS: NC issssss Jaloon, and he ussssssessssss [- insssssstead of E  
SS: And RF issssss Pially, and sssssshe issssssn't ussssssing her FUCKING QUIRK  
RF: ley of man  
RF: don't git on my cas abut dis  
SS: Sssssshe ussssssually typessssss like thissssss  
SS: RF: Yo homies, what is the for realsies dealsies in this hizzhouse  
SS: I don't know which I hate more  
SS: DSsssss issssss Matt, one of the humanssssss  
SS: And lasssssstly BL issssss Tara, the other human who'ssssss throwing ssssssome kind of hissssssy fit becausssssse of her change in belief  
SS: Sssssso who knowssssss when we'll hear from her again  
SG: thErE, wE'rE aLL caught up!  
DS: And this may not be a good time, but Tarlia has something to say  
DS: But she really needs to tell you  
DS: Now  
SG: i…  
SG: i SuPPoSe now is as gOOd a time as EvEr ]:/  
SG: this is hard to teLL you guys  
SG: but i'm caLLing oFF aLL my relatIonShIpS with you guys  
EL: what  
EL: but why  
SG: i talked to maTT about it, and we DEciDED ThaT if i want to sTarT any sort of real relatIonshIp with sOmEOnE, i've got to stop with you guys  
EL: I FUCKING knew it  
EL: I FUCKING knew you were in a matespritship with that SHITlord  
EL: you're dead you piece of SHIT  
DS: No, we're not a matesprit, whatever the hell that is  
DS: She's talking about BL  
EL: fine I'll kick her ASS as well  
EL: but she'll have to wait until I'm done with you  
RF: chil hysees its not a big dael  
NC: I must admit, I am not surpris[-d  
NC: It was bound to happ[-n  
EL: oh I know  
EL: but I was just hoping that it wouldn't happen this FUCKING soon  
SG: my SincErESt apOlOgies!  
SG: I'LL stiLL hold you dear in my heart! 3  
EL: sigh  
EL: 3  
SG: ]:D  
DS: Yeah, friendship  
DS: So cool  
DS: Anyway, sprite's bothering me  
DS: brb

Matt turned away from his laptop, knocking his sprite's hand away and stopping it from poking him. He had recently entered his second gate, which took him all the way to Tara's house, though she was nowhere to be seen. As he'd made his way through his planet in search of the second gate, he'd made a habit of learning more about his quest from the lands inhabitants; a species of small monkeys, just half his size. They'd told him about his denizen, Hephaestus, and a lot of vague nonsense.

"What do you want?" he asked impatiently. When he'd finally met up with his sprite again on Tara's planet, he'd found out that it'd been prototyped a second time. But not with another video game, or even some useless other object, but with an alternate doomed timeline version of himself. Now the thing looked like a militarised version of Matt himself, complete with military uniform and all. Apparently he'd come back in order to steal the ending from Tarlia, who'd done that in his own doomed timeline. God knows how that even happened.

Mattsprite pointed a thumb behind him, "There's someone here."

"So?"

"So you need to deal with them."

Matt sighed, "Why can't you?"

His sprite shrugged, "Maybe 'cause I don't want to. You got to deal with this yourself, bro."

Matt spitefully got up, glaring a look of anger at his sprite, but eventually went to investigate. He made his way through Tara's house, passing innumerable Jesus Christ: Superstar posters, many of which seemed to be torn up and destroyed, to the door leading to a balcony on the second floor of her house. When he opened the door, he was greeted to a gust of smoke that entered through the doorway, making Matt hack unstoppably. Eventually, the smoke cleared, and Matt could identify the five figures scattered around the small balcony. Oh dear god.

"You guys were here the whole time!?" Matt asked hastily, letting a small layer of smoke settle between him and the five trolls that were around the balcony. While normally the balcony would've overlooked a beautiful ocean back on Earth, in the Land of Dark and Slate, a large rock facing was directly against the edge of the balcony and covering the top, allowing the smoke to simply linger around, not spreading out and dissipating.

"Sup dude?" one of the trolls asked, one he hadn't met before. She was the source of the smoke, with a blunt in her right hand which she occasionally took drags from. She was significantly different to the others, who consisted of Tarlia, Hysees, one troll Matt assumed was Carthus, and another unknown troll. The first mentioned troll, the source of the smoke, was a smaller troll, the smallest of the lot, and wore extremely flashy clothes and jewellery, consisting of a sleeveless top, a long skirt the length of her legs, and several pieces of jewellery, including ear piercings, a lip piercing, and a large necklace. Her features were identical to the other trolls, save for her long, chest length curly hair, thin, lengthy horns, purple outlines around her eyes, and a pair of fins protruding from the sides of her head.

Matt coughed another couple of times, waving his hand in front of his face, before the troll he had identified as Carthus stepped forward, "Yessssss, I'm afraid. Much to my DISSSSSSLIKING, IF I MAY SAY!" He specifically glared at Hysees, who now wore baggy denim jeans and a loose shirt that she only let cover one of her shoulders, who then proceeded to flip off Carthus.

"Fuck you, low-blood," she scolded him, smirking.

"You're going to accept me assssss your leader ssssssometime, becausssssse it'ssssss not changing." He turned back to Matt, taking off his flat cap and bowing. "It'ssssss nice to finally meet you after all thesssssse weekssssss."

Matt gave a short and clumsy bow back, "Good to meet you too, Carthus. I see you actually speak like that in real life, huh?"

Carthus stared at Matt for a few seconds, before replying, "Fuck. You."

"Touchy subject?"

"Touchy fucking ssssssubject." Carthus went back to his original position, leaning up against the rock wall at the edge of the balcony.

"Nice!" Hysees complimented, walking up and slapping Matt's back. "You hurt his feelings! Classic Carthus, always sulking about every single shitty thing."

Matt pushed away Hysees, "I didn't mean to insult him, because unlike you, I have a moral code."

"Moral code? Who gives a shit about morals! This is Sgrub, anything goes! Don't tell me you're as much of a wussy as Cathus!"

"Fuck you, I'm ten times the troll you are, and I ain't even a troll!"

Hysees pushed Matt back, "Then prove it! Hundred push-ups, right here, right now! Whoever can't do it has to admit to being the piece of shit that they are!"

"You're on, loser!" The two dropped to their hands and feet, and Matt looked up towards Carthus, "Count for me, man!"

Carthus waved his hands and shook his head, "Keep me out of whatever bulge meassssssuring contesssssst thissssss issssss."

The two didn't listen to his reply, as they both began doing push-ups, both counting quietly under their breaths. Carthus sighed, and looked to the others, in hope of someone doing something, but no-one stepped forward.

Eventually Matt broke the silence, speaking as he did push-ups, "So, mind… telling me… who these two… are?"

Tarlia stood there, confused as to who he meant, but realised he was talking about the two remaining trolls he hadn't met yet. "Oh! Well, the lovely lady quote-unquote "chilling" on the bench there is Pially, a Fuchsia blood, and also the highest caste in the troll hemospectrum! As much as she may not look it, she happens to be the former heir to our planets throne!"

She then gestured to the final troll, a burly and gruff looking guy, a little taller than Hysees and the same height as Matt. He wore casual clothes; a button up shirt and a pair of shorts, and a pair of rectangular glasses. His short hair was messy, and a pair of horns sat straight on his head, bent forward about half-way up.

"And this is Jaloon, a fellow cerulean blood.!"

"It's a pleasure to meet a human," he said in a rough, deep voice.

"Oh," Tarlia continued, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to mention that Hysees here is just a plain old Purple blood, the third highest caste!"

"Hah!" Matt chuckled, "Fucking nerd!"

"I'll show you how much of a nerd I am when I show you up and devastate your shitty manhood!" Hysees replied.

Carthus stepped up to the two, crouching down, "You guyssssss realize thissssss issssssn't proving anything?"

Matt did one last push-up, jumping to his feet, "It proved that I just did a hundred fucking push-up!"

Hysees followed suit, "Same here, bulgebag!"

The two were obviously winded, and Carthus sighed, "Are you finisssssshed?"

Matt looked over to Hysees, and stretched out his arms, looking to the left of the balcony and at a small glowing tree in the distance. "I don't know. Yo clown, how far you reckon that tree is?"

Hysees looked in the same direction, placing an arm on Matt's shoulder. "In your human distance? A few miles."

"How about this: last one to the tree has to still admit to being a piece of shit."

"Deal." The two didn't wait for anything, already bolting off and through Tara's built up house in an effort to be the first to the tree. The land around them was coated in pitch blackness, so they had to hope nothing terrible lurked there.

Tarlia looked desperately through the doorway they left through, sighing sadly, "Man, they really dislike each other, don't they?"

Jaloon went over and stood beside her, leaning on the doorframe, "Yeah, I know. They're totally going to mate soon."

Tarlia looked over with confusion, "What? Why?"

Jaloon gave a small smile. "Because it's a classic case of a Kismesissitude. I wouldn't expect you to know, Tarlia. It's almost as if you're incapable of having a relationship like that. But the two of them, it's painfully obvious, to me at least, that they're going to consummate sooner or later. You see, a Kismesissitude is only formed through a mutual hatred, but also mutual respect and sexual attraction. If it were just platonic hate, they wouldn't be competing to see who's better, challenging each other. And it definitely isn't bad enough to become an Auspisticism, thank god. So yes, I believe that it'll happen eventually. Maybe not tomorrow, but eventually."

Tarlia shrugged, "Well, I'll trust your judgement. You do have a knack for romance, after all."

"Eh, it's a blessing."

Carthus moaned loudly, "Great! Another bullsssssshit teenage romance, ssssssolved! Patssssss on the back all round!" He made his way through the door. "Let'ssssss go make ssssssure thosssssse two don't get their headssssss ssssssmasssssshed in by sssssssome Ogre, or, even worsssssse, sssssstart mating under that sssssstupid tree. Ssssssomeone grab a bucket, won't you?" Jaloon followed suit, but Tarlia looked over her shoulder to Pially.

"You coming?"

Carthus leaned his head back through the door, "No, sssssshe sssssstayssssss here. Jusssssst keep ssssssmoking your high-blood plantssssss."

Pially let out a cloud of smoke from her mouth, "That's a plan I can get behind, dude!"

Eventually, the trio of Carthus, Jaloon, and Tarlia made their way through almost pitch black darkness, only being able to navigate via the planets inhabitants, a series of neon coloured cat creatures that stood half the height of Jaloon. It was a winding road, and the three almost would've certainly fallen down into the large crevices if not for the creatures lighting up their way. They strolled up to the tree, which glowed quite brightly from its numerous fruits, and saw Matt and Hysees laid on the ground, huffing and puffing.

Carthus crossed his arms hunched over the pair, "Thissssss prove anything that the other competition didn't?"

"Yeah, I… lost… by a… fucking hair..." Matt huffed, starting to crawl up to a large wall of slate.

"You still… lost…" Hysees said smugly, crawling up as well. The two set themselves up against the walls, sitting next to each other.

"Yeah, and I… honoured… my promise…" Matt replied.

"Ha… Ha… yeah… you did…" She scooted over to Matt. "But I think… I kind of… want to… take a… few minutes… to rest…"

She placed her head on Matt's shoulder, closing her eyes. "Sure…" Matt said, "But when… we… get up… I want… a rematch…"

Hysees only gave a grunt in reply, and Matt subsequently placed his own head on hers, avoiding her horns and closing his eyes as well. The two were quick to sleep, Matt snoring quietly and Hysees remaining completely silent, save for her chest moving up and down.

Tarlia squealed quietly, clasping her hands together, and whispering, "Oh my gosh, you might be right Jaloon! They're freaking adorable when they're not insulting each other!"

Carthus sighed, "You know what? Assssss long assssss it keepssssss them from trouble, I don't care. Hell, maybe thissssss'll make Hysssssseessssss finally sssssstop bugging me and lissssssten to my orderssssss."

Tarlia sat down, looking up at the stars and focusing on eight distant planets among them, which she guessed were the groups'. Carthus sat beside her, while Jaloon decided to head back to the house.

"Hey Tarlia," Carthus asked, "I've been meaning to assssssk ssssssomething ssssssince the group converssssssation, but it'ssssss kind of a sssssstupid quesssssstion."

Tarlia smiled back at him, leaning backwards on her arms, "Shoot!"

Carthus took off his flat cap, and ruffled his messy black hair, "Well, I jusssssst want to assssssk: why did you sssssstart a ssssssexual relationsssssship with everyone but me?"

Tarlia giggled, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Because you're my Moirail, silly! You aren't supposed to do that sort of thing with a Moirail!"

"Moirail? You… actually conssssssider me your Moirail?"

"Of course! How could you never realize this?"

Carthus sighed, "I jusssssst though that I could never be friendssssss with you, let alone Moirailssssss. I mean, you're thissssss ssssssophissssssticated, cute, and ssssssmart blue blood, and I'm jusssssst… me."

"But that's why I like you! You wear these cool clothes, you can bring people together to solve problems, but on top of that you're almost ten times smarter than anyone I know! Where's this coming from, Carthus?"

"Hysssssseessssss. Every time sssssshe callssssss me a low-blood, it remindssssss me of my sssssshortcomingssssss, you know?"

"Are you kidding? You've got these awesome telepathic and telekinetic powers because of your blood! I'd kill for powers like that."

"Well, I-"

Tarlia interrupted the troll, wrapping her arm around him. "No, no 'well.' You're amazing Carthus, and it doesn't matter what Hysees says, the rest of us-me, Pially, Jaloon, Matt, and I'm sure Tara if she were here- all think you're an amazing leader, despite you're tendency to be a little mean! Hysees, as much as I wish to not say, will just have to suck it up and follow your lead. And through everything, I'll always be by your side; you know, with moral support!"

Carthus glanced down, before chuckling, "You're too good for anyone, Tarlia. Although we may have to deal with your weird necrophiliac tendenciessssss before you can sssssstart a Matesssssspritsssssship with Tara, hmm?"

The two turned back to the sky, and Tarlia said, "Already one step ahead there. You'll find I've cut off all the romantic relationships with them as well."

"Ew. But that'ssssss good." The two were silent for a few moments, before Carthus continued, "Love you platonically, Tarlia."

"Love you platonically too, Carthus."


	7. Day 45

Matt laid on the side of Tara's bed, worn out after a couple straight days of non-stop searching for his third gate. While some of the group had found their way back to their own planets with the help of Matt's alternate selves time shenanigans, Carthus, Hysees, and Tarlia still remained on Tara's planet with Matt. The four could barely see where to go in the darkness, and neither the lands consorts nor Matt's douche of a sprite would give them any insight as to how to get to their gates. And God knows why Matt's alternate selves weren't helping the rest of them. Time shenanigans were fucking weird.

Matt sat up, letting out a groan to make himself known to Carthus, who sat across from him reading one of Tara's books. Tarlia and Hysees were currently out and about, and Matt had commanded his sprite to leave him alone for the rest of the day. Matt never really knew how much he annoyed himself as a sprite sometimes.

Carthus glanced over to him, and asked, "What'ssssss wrong with you now?"

Matt laid back down, his head on the pillow but feet dangling off the edge of the bed. "I'm BORED. We've been on Tara's stupid planet for a month now. If we're not off soon, I'm going to spend my sweet sixteen on here, and I'd rather not do that without Tara and in complete fucking darkness. I haven't had a birthday without Tara at my party since I was five."

"Well I wouldn't know what that'ssssss like. Trollssssss don't celebrate their wriggling day. It'ssssss sssssstupid and meaninglessssss."

"Well whatever. All I know is I want to find her. I mean, where's that stupid God-Tier anyway? Why haven't we found him? It's been a month and a half since the sessions were merged."

"Don't assssssk me. Tarlia'ssssss the one that knowssssss all thissssss sssssstuff."

Matt groaned again, "Argh, I just want something to happen." He looked over to Carthus. "Do you have any cool troll stories? You must."

"Dependssssss on what you'd conssssssider cool. I ssssssupposssssse I could tell you the sssssstory of our ancesssssstorssssss, but it'ssssss lengthy. And I mean _lengthy._ "

Matt sat back up, and leaned forward towards Carthus, "We've got time until Hysees and Tarlia come back."

"Are you ssssssure?" Matt nodded his head in reply. "Alright, well ssssssettle down, becausssssse thissssss issssss a sssssstory of esssssspionage, betrayal, and a lot of death…"

Thousands of sweeps ago, when our race was in its infancy, we were ruled over by our empress, and Pially's ancestor, the Esteemed Tyrant, but in saying that, I must tell you she was anything but. According to various sources, she was an alright queen most of the time, not unlike our own fuchsia-blooded princess, mostly due to her allegedly heavy intake of illicit substances. In fact, you will find that our ancestors mirror our own personalities quite well –and they would look exactly like ourselves, albeit a dozen sweeps older. Though I'm getting off topic. Anyway, the Esteemed Tyrant was quite the ruler, and by that I mean she technically wasn't, instead being a puppet for the Disgraced Honker, Hysees' ancestor. During the opening days of her rule, the two were in a secret Matespritship, unknown to the public because of the Tyrant's promise of a Matespritship with the Blood Born, a mystical figure known among the Low and High Bloods, and also my own ancestor. If word of the relationship between the Tyrant and the Honker were to get out, it could've meant rebellion, as the consummation of a Matespritship between the Tyrant and the Blood Born was seen as a unification of both Low-Bloods and High-Bloods.

There was one problem though; the Blood Born knew of the secret romance between the two others. During a private meeting between all three of them, he confronted the pair about their secret relationship. Reluctantly, they admitted, and expected the worst from the Blood Born. If he had revealed their relationship, he would be able to use the rebellions and civil unrest to usurp the Tyrant, and take her place by being the first ever troll patriarch. But, as a gesture of good faith, he promised to never speak of their relationship, on one condition: the Tyrant and Honker would set up a council, made up of one member from each blood caste, which would make decisions for the Tyrant, while the Tyrant was allowed to continue living as she pleased.

The pair accepted, and for the first time ever in our society, a council was set up where trolls from all blood castes could have their say as to important political matters. The council included a few of our ancestors: the Blood Borne, representing Burgundy bloods, the Disgraced Honker, representing Purple bloods, the Light Bringer -Jaloon's ancestor- representing the Cerulean bloods, and the Last Financer –the ancestor of our other troll friend Mahnda- representing Jade bloods. The council was a surprisingly stable solution, save for one problem- Tarlia's ancestor, the Huntress of Blood.

The Huntress of Blood despised the idea of a council, as she, unlike Tarlia, heavily supported the idea of a Caste system. Of her own accord, she confronted the Tyrant and Honker, demanding that the Caste system be restored. While the Tyrant shot the idea down, not wishing a civil war, the Disgraced Honker made a deal with the Huntress; all the riches and wealth she wanted, if she assassinated every other member of the council.

The Huntress whole-heartedly agreed. The only question was: how? She was one troll, unable to take on an entire consort of bodyguards just to kill one council member, let alone eleven separate ones. The Honker was unwilling to risk her reputation by helping her, so what was a troll to do? In a desperate attempt for ideas, she went to an old nemesis, and her ex-Kismesis, the Grudging Warlord –our God Tier's ancestor. Through much argument, the two formed an uneasy alliance, with a promise of a fifty-fifty split of the reward for killing the council. The Warlord gave the Huntress an idea: use her more physical attributes to her advantage, and sexually manoeuvre her way inside of the council, taking it down from the inside.

With the idea in tow, she decided to test out the plan on the more gullible member of the council: the Last Financer. The Financer was a well-known and well-respected businesswoman, shrewd in the banking industry, and was the main financial support for the new-found council. She specialised in loans, though she was nicer than most; she would only break your thumbs _after_ she'd asked you nicely, whereas others would snap your neck as soon as you uttered the words 'I can't pay.' Her trustfulness was her only weakness though, and would be her downfall.

The Huntress pleaded the Financer for a loan, claiming it to be for a small business she was starting up, but claimed that she would only pay through more… subtle ways. In a public conversation, the Huntress seduced the Financer, ridding the office of her guards, and the she began pleasuring our Jade-blooded financer. In the midst of everything, while the two kissed, the Huntress slipped a non-traceable poison from her mouth to the Financer's, one that wouldn't activate until the next day. As you would've guessed, the plan worked, and this gave her the courage to take on further targets.

Meanwhile, the Grudging Warlord worked a much less quiet route, using his Violet-blood to sway his own sea-clan to perform various public assassinations. Sniping's, slicing throats, you name it.

Between the two, they'd successfully assassinated eight of the councilmembers, leaving just the Blood Born, the Light Bringer, the Disgraced Honker, and the Esteemed Tyrant left on the council. In a desperate bid to stop the assassinations, the council took one last course of action by hiring the Regicidal Binder –Yemen's', our final dead troll friend, ancestor. The Binder was an infamous killer, and professional hitman. He knew all the tactics of our antagonists, knew how they killed, and with the support of the Light Bringer, Blood Born, and Esteemed Tyrant, set out to stop the Huntress and Warlord.

His first target was the Warlord. During a public hearing from the Blood Born, the Warlord set up an attempt on his life, planning on gunning the member down midway through the hearing. Though the Binder had other plans. While the Warlord set up a dozen gunmen around the council chambers, the Binder made an effort to successfully pick off the gunmen one by one. When the time came to kill the Blood Born, no-one was around to pull the trigger. In the Warlords' confusion, the Binder confronted him, and challenged him to a duel. Enraged at his own failures, the Warlord threw himself at the Binder, but due to the elegant fighting style of the Binder, he swiftly dodged the attack and sliced the Warlord cleaned in half with his rapier sword.

With the Warlord dead, and his clan now scattered and lost without a leader, the Huntress was the last to remain. She knew this, and went into hiding with the Honker's help. The Binder could've killed her anyway, but found the situation suspicious. He had suspected foul play from within the council for some time, and eventually found out his suspicions to true. While observing the daily patterns of the Huntress, he noticed the Honker would visit her often, and while eavesdropping on a conversation, learned of the Honkers' plan to reintroduce the Blood Caste system. The Binder realised that the problem wasn't only the Huntress, but the Honker as well.

For advice, he went to the one person he could trust; the Blood Born. When told of this information, the Blood Born believed the best course of action would've been to do what he should've done in the first place. With the Binder in tow, he made a hasty announcement to the people all around our planet, and revealed to them of the secret Matespritship between the Disgraced Honker and the Esteemed Tyrant. This announcement created an all-out riot, as the people felt betrayed by the Tyrant due to her promise of a wriggler with the Blood Born. With an army made up of trolls from all Blood Castes behind him, and the Regicidal Binder by his side, the Blood Born stormed the Disgraced Honkers' home. They killed the guards, destroyed her gates, and rushed into her house, bringing her and the Tyrant, who was staying there at the time, outside to face judgement.

The Blood Born passed judgement on the pair personally. He sentenced the Tyrant nicely, saying that she was to be kicked off the throne, though she may remain on the council as the Fuchsia representative. The Honker, however, was fated a different ending. The crowd, with great haste, stood the Honker upon a chair beneath a tree in her front yard, threw a rope over one of the branches, tied it around her neck, and lynched her there and then. From that point on, she was known by the name we know her as- the Disgraced Honker. They say the final gasp of air that came from her was a great honk, one that was heard by all in the crowd of five hundred trolls. The Tyrant, devastated at the loss of the one she loved, fell to her knees, and wept for a solid day straight.

There still remained the Huntress though, whom was a part of the crowd, and as the crowd watched the Tyrant weep, she stepped from the crowd and challenged the Binder to a duel, just as he had done with the Warlord before. The Binder looked to the Blood Born for an answer, which he reluctantly gave a yes to, and the two prepared themselves for battle. The Binder used his rapier, a sword that had seen the blood of the guilty and innocent alike, whilst the Huntress used a doubled sided sword that would split into two when required.

The story of the two's fight varies from book to book, troll to troll. Some say that the fight was a true epic, where the Huntress and Binder danced among the space allowed for the fight, as if they were on a ballroom floor, under the glistening moonlight. Others say that the battle was over in seconds, a single slice being all it took to down the other opponent. All reports do point to one conclusion: that the Huntress came out the victor. With the Binder dead, she turned her sights to the Blood Born, challenging him to the next fight. Much to the surprise of the crowd, he accepted, but did not use any sort of weapon to fight. When questioned by the Huntress, he told her that he had no wish to fight her, instead accepting his fate to the Huntress. The Huntress attempted to kill him, there and then, but could not bring herself to do it. She threw down her weapon, resigning her wish to kill him, and began walking away.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the Blood Born call out her name, and tell her about his thoughts on her. About how he found her impressive, and admired her tactics and dedication to her cause. He told her that he wished to help her, solve her problems with the council. And, as his final decision, decided to mix up the matriarchy, by placing both himself and the Huntress on the throne. The Huntress accepted, after much thought, and the two became the next rulers of our planet, with the council intact.

"Wow, your ancestors sounded kinda…" Matt thought for a moment, "weird."

"Maybe by your sssssstupid human sssssstandardssssss, but sssssshit like that wassssss common in our culture," Carthus replied, leaning back on the wall behind him across from the bed Matt was sitting on.

"Well, I kind of enjoyed it. Thanks for filling up ten whole minutes, I guess."

"Yeah man," said a voice from the doorway, "pretty dope."

The two looked towards the source of the voice, who turned out to be the fish princess Pially, with a blunt in her hand, as always.

Carthus raised an eyebrow, and took off his flat cap. "Pially? Why are you here? I thought you went back to your own planet with one of Matt'ssssss alternate sssssselvessssss."

"I did. But I was walking when I found this gate, and I was all like, 'Woah, a gate! Might as well go through it,' and I just ended up here."

Carthus stood up, and rushed over to Pially, placing his hands on her shoulders and examining her closely. "Chrisssssst, Pially, you know it'ssssss dangeroussssss to go out alone when you're ssssssmoking that sssssstuff!"

"Dude, I'm fine. The imps there were pretty chill."

Carthus sighed, "It'ssssss jusssssst… I worry about you, okay? I mean what if you'd-"

Pially grabbed his hands and took them off her shoulders, keeping them interlocked between them. "It's fine. Everything's cool. You really need to take one of these." She held up the blunt with one hand. "Come one. For me?"

Carthus thought for a second, before shaking his head and pulling away from her. "Not even for you would I even conssssssider taking that sssssshit."

Pially smirked, and pulled Carthus into a one armed hug, which Carthus obviously pretended to not enjoy.


	8. Day 60

DailySpelunker (DS) began a Memo

DailySpelunker (DS) added ElixerTrickster (EL), BaptisingLilac (BL), SlipperyGough (SG), and SporaticSlither (SS) to the Memo

DS: Okay, I'm here  
DS: Finally made it back to my house  
DS: But tell me one thing  
DS: WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO BRING BITCHTITS WITH ME  
EL: you keep talking like that and I'll cave your SHITTY head in  
EL: your hive is a piece of CRAP anyway  
SS: God damnit doessssss it really matter?  
SS: You sssssshould know, it wassssss your future sssssself'ssssss sssssstupid time anticssssss that got ussssss here  
DS: How would I know?  
DS: Time shenanigans are fucking weird, yo  
EL: as I said, he's probably FUCKING RETARDED  
DS: Screw you, you purple blooded piece of crap  
BL: Stop inviting me to these stupid conversations  
BL: I don't want to talk to anyone

BaptisingLilac (BL) left the Memo

DS: Tara wait!  
DS: God damnit, what's wrong with her  
DS: I really want to talk to her  
EL: who was that  
SS: The other human in our ssssssessssssion  
SS: Sssssshe'ssssss having a crissssssissssss of faith  
EL: ahahahahahaha  
EL: What a loser  
DS: Don't speak about her that way  
EL: FUCKING make me  
SS: Assssss cute assssss thissssss little Kissssssmessssssissssss issssss  
SS: I don't care about it  
SS: It'ssssss pointlessssss  
SS: Sssssso ssssssuck it up  
SS: AND CONTINUE YOUR SSSSSSTUPID QUESSSSSSTSSSSSS

SporaticSlither (SS) left the Memo

EL: good  
EL: burgundy blooded SHITLORD  
DS: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN  
EL: no FUCK you  
DS: yes  
EL: no  
DS: yes  
EL: no  
DS: yes  
EL: yes  
DS: no  
DS: fuck  
EL: ahahahahahahaha  
DS: that's it  
DS: I'm comin' into the kitchen  
DS: and your fucking dead  
EL: try me you piece of CRAP

DailySpelunker (DS) left the Memo

ElixerTrickster (EL) left the Memo

SG: ]:(

DailySpelunker (DS) joined the memo

DS: btw  
DS: what's a kismesis  
SG: ]:D  
SG: a kISmeSIS is whErE in two PEoPlE have a mUtUal hate for each other  
SG: but also a sort of rEspEct as weLL!  
SG: but it EvEntuaLLy turns into sexual ATTrAcTion!  
DS: who told you that  
DS: was it your lusus  
DS: when do we get to meet your lusus anyway  
SG: NEVER! NO NO NO NO!  
DS: holy shit  
SG: soRRy, it's just…  
SG: my lUSUS is very dangerous  
SG: if you DiD mEEt him  
SG: weLL  
SG: a lot of bad stuFF could haPPen!  
DS: oooookay  
DS: I'll 'member that  
SG: but AnYwAY…  
SG: you nEvEr DEniED the bit about sexual ATTrAcTion ];)

DailySpelunker (DS) left the Memo

SG: ]:D

Matt closed his laptop, and chucked it onto the side of his bed, before throwing off his jacket to reveal his t-shirt and exiting his room. He charged through the hallway at a brisk walk and entered the doorway to the kitchen. The kitchen was a complete mess, with various foodstuffs and drinks strewn about the counter haphazardly, and most of the cabinets had been emptied of all contents. The counter across from the cabinets wasn't much better, with jars of peanut butter, jam, and butter dripping all over it, along with half a bag of bread emptied all about the counter.

The culprit of the mess sat on the same counter, though away from any spilt spreads, kicking her legs non-chalently and munching on a terribly made sandwich. For the first time, she had a different style of clothing from the Juggalo look she usually had. She wore a white singlet that showed off her athletic body, a jacket wrapped around her waist, and black skinny jeans that showed off her surprisingly large rump, topped off with lengthy boots. Her face, normally caked in clown make-up, now only consisted of dark paint around the eyes, and her hair was no longer in braids, now left to fall down in an extremely curly clump that went all the way down to just above her knees.

At first, she purposefully looked away from him, avoiding eye contact, before he barged over and planted himself in front of her, forcing her to look at him, an unimpressed look on her face.

"What the hell did you do?" Matt demanded, folding his arms.

"Puk ou, I wa hngry," she attempted to reply, though it could barely be heard through the food still in her mouth.

Matt scoffed, disgusted, and retorted, "Swallow your god damn food before you talk, you fucking savage animal."

Hysees frowned, but eventually complied. "I said 'Fuck you, I was hungry!'"

"Yeah, I got that, idiot. But why the hell is there such a mess? How the fuck did you manage to do all of this!?"

"Human food is stupid."

"That doesn't answer my question. And what the hell happened to your braids? If you weren't shedding hair everywhere like a dog, I'd be inclined to tell you about how hot you look with your hair down!"

"And if you weren't such a demanding bulgebuster, I'd be inclined to thank you without wanting to shoot myself!"

Matt scoffed again, "Demanding? This is my house!"

"You think I want to be in your retarded looking hive?" Hysees hopped down from the counter, leaving her sandwich. "I'm fucking trapped here because of your alternate selves are too God damn lazy to do anything about it!"

Matt poked her in the chest, "You've got some nerve coming into my house and telling me it's my own fault!"

Hysees pushed him away, "I'm not the hero of time, now am I?"

Matt slid his hands down his face in frustration, groaning, "You're so FRUSTRATING! I don't know how, but you make me want to… I could just… I could… FUCK YOU, HERE AND NOW!"

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU?"

"IS THAT A CHALLENGE?"

"YOU BET YOUR ASS THAT'S A CHALLENGE!"

"THEN CHALLENG FUCKING ACCEPTED!"

And with that, the argument ended, and Matt closed the gap between them, interlocking his lips with Hysees'. There was what seemed to be a surprised squeal from Hysees, but she soon began returning his affection as well. She wrapped her arms around his neck, while Matt slid his hands from her cheeks, down her neck and back, and kept them still just below her backside. He then hoisted Hysees up by her butt, moved forward, and slammed her against the wall, letting her emit a pained squeal in between kisses. Eventually, Matt pulled his mouth away, and began pleasuring her neck instead.

Hysees began pleasurably moaning, feeling Matt grind his body against her, "You're even shitty… at…" She let out a single, louder moan that interrupted her thoughts.

Matt ceased pestering her neck, and looked her in the eyes, examining the pleasure she was feeling, before unwrapping her jacket from around her waist and throwing it on the ground.


	9. Day 80

Carthus leaned back on his chair, examining the majority of Matt's planet. He had found himself a perfect spot just on Matt's balcony, where the rays of the sun hit him directly, and had planted himself firmly in said spot just a few hours before. Carthus was one of the few trolls that actually enjoyed the sunlight, finding it to be the one thing in the world that gave him genuine happiness in the universe.

Carthus lowered the brim of his flat cap so that it covered his extremely faded red eyes. This was the first day he'd had alone since the game began. It was always something with his team. Time shenanigans, Quadrants, and god knows what else, but it was nice to finally have none of that, and for a full day as well. Well, besides from contacting Tarlia every so often to check up on her.

In his moment of peace, he wondered if he should attempt any other activities for the day. He certainly didn't want to go through the hassle to do anything else, as he'd already undressed down to his button-up white collared shirt, and had undone the straps to his suspenders, letting them fall to his sides and onto the ground under the chair. His grey cotton blazer, black dress shoes, and black socks lay in a pile in the corner of Matt's living room, atop a small desk that used to house Matt's television. In order to truly bask in the glow of the sun, he'd rolled up his long sleeves to reveal his skinny, pale-grey arms, and had them crossed on his chest.

He wouldn't ever let anyone see him this way. Anyone besides Tarlia, that is. Maybe someone else though. Under very specific circumstances. But no-one else. While Tarlia always made offers to change up his style, he never humoured her. He'd dressed the same way ever since he'd found a chest full of his ancestors belongings three sweeps into his life. While Tarlia always attempted to colour up his wardrobe, disregarding their ancestral history, he always idolised his own, the Blood Born. He thought back on the stories he enjoyed to tell, whether they be legends and myths or facts and experiences. While Matt seemed to enjoy them a lot, the true history buff when it came to legends was, in fact, Tarlia. Unfortunately, that was a pro and a con, as she didn't believe the story of their ancestors, always laughing them off as 'Old grub tales.' How a story about murder is only a grub tale was beyond him, but troll girls were fucking crazy.

As he gave a content sigh, a thought snapped into his mind. He had a full day to himself. None of Matt's time shenanigans. None of Tarlia's overly peppy yet stubborn personality. Hell, even Hysees hadn't bothered him yet calling him a piece of trash. Which gave him a single question:

What the fuck did they do?

Carthus snapped back into reality, nearly falling out of his chair, and accessed the on-board computer in his cap.

SporaticSlither (SS) began a Memo

SporaticSlither (SS) added SlipperyGough (SG), ElixerTrickster (ET), DailySpelunker (DS), ReeferApartheid (RA), and NotoriousCaptain (NC) to the Memo

SS: What the fuck did you do  
RA: Huh?  
SS: Cut the sssssshit  
SS: You guyssssss haven't bothered me all day  
SS: Sssssso ssssssomething'ssssss up  
SS: Tell me  
SS: Now  
RA: Nah duderino, you're killing the buzz with your 'tude  
SS: Wait  
SS: Are you ussssssing your douche quirk?  
SS: What the fuck'ssssss going on?  
NC: Nothing bad, if that's what you'r[- implying  
NC: W[- can s[-[- you from h[-r[-  
SS: Where'ssssss here?  
NC: Villag[- b[-elow you  
RA: Yeah broseph, we're having a totally tubular party in this hella sick town!

Carthus looked below him, and nearly face-palmed at what he saw. In one of the villages dotted on the ground were a bunch of flashing lights that came from the largest building in the village. How he'd managed to miss such an extravagant sight was unknown to him.

SS: What the fuck are you doing down there?  
RA: Well  
SS: Not from you  
SS: You're 'quirk' makessssss me want to drown mysssssself in bleach  
NC: Com[- s[-[- for yours[-lf  
SS: Fine  
SS: But I sssssswear to god if it'ssssss ssssssomething ridiculoussssss  
SS: You're all dead to me

SporaticSlither (SS) left the Memo

Carthus hissed quietly and got up from his chair. He rolled down his sleeves, and headed inside into Matt's living room. He put on the rest of his clothes hastily, and made his way down several dozen stories that now made up Matt's house. Crossing out onto the mountain that Matt's house was precariously sat up on, he slowly descended to the ground using a pathway that seemed to have been made by the consorts long after Carthus's team had entered the session. It winded around the mountain, eventually placing him at the entrance to the village. Several makeshift houses were seen just from the entrance of the village, and the monkey like consorts walked around on their daily business. About a hundred feet away stood the largest building in town, which continued flashing bright red lights every so often from the tiny slits of the closed door, and Carthus began to hear the faint sound of loud techno music coming from the building. He hissed under his breath, and crossed the village over to the large building carved out from the mountain. He grabbed onto one of the large doorways, and pushed it open, allowing the ear-blastingly loud music to nearly deafen him.

"Oh my fucking God," he barely heard himself whisper. Inside, the strobing red lights became more apparent, as the large open room fluctuated from complete darkness to completely lit up with a tinge of red every second. As he guessed, the rest of his team were in the building, in various states. In the seconds where Carthus could see them, he managed to gain his bearings compared to the rest of them. In the middle of the large, open room were Matt and Hysees, who seemed to be attempting to dance to whatever trash that passed as music in the party, but were unknowingly failing pretty hard. On the other side from Carthus was Tarlia, who likewise was dancing, though only by herself, and with much more subjective success. To the right were a couple of comfortable sofas carried here from Matt's house, and sat upon them was Jaloon, calmly reading a book -God knows how- and up on a platform beside him was Mattsprite, the source of the music coming from a phone in a couple of large speakers that Carthus vaguely recognised as Matt's. Mattsprite also seemed to be controlling the lights, as he switched them on and off to the beat of the music.

Carthus looked to Matt, who continued his terrible dancing with Hysees, and attempted to call him over, "MATT!"

His call seemed loud enough over the blaring music, as Matt turned around and saw him. He then moved over to Carthus, continuing his dancing, and greeted him.

"Carthus! Buddy! Pal!" Matt moved behind Carthus, and wrapped his arms around him, "How ya doing!?"

Carthus pulled away, glaring at him. "Get off of me! What are you guyssssss even doing!?"

Matt wrapped another arm around Carthus. "What's it look like!? We're cutting loose, having fun, because life is just AMAZING now!"

Carthus picked up Matt's arm and unwrapped himself from it. "What the fuck are you talking about? Are… Are you guyssssss high right now!?"

"I don't know dude! All I know is Pially cooked up some lunch for us, and the next thing I know is life became sooooo FUN!"

Carthus made an inaudible sigh, and slid his hand down his face. "Of course."

"You should really try it! Everything just seem s- AAHHH!" Matt recoiled when he looked at Carthus again, before calming down and placing a hand on his chest. "Sorry, forgot you were a snake for a second there!"

Carthus shook his head at the ridiculousness. "Yeah, whatever. PIALLY!"

Almost seconds after he called the name, he felt another arm around his neck while a hand grabbed his crotch, causing him a surprised grunt.

"You called?" Pially whispered in his ear.

Carthus wrestled from her grasp. "Yeah, I did! What the fuck did you do?!"

"I just cooked a nice meal for my loving friends!" She closed the gap between them, and wrapped her arms around Carthus. "Is that so wrong?"

Carthus pushed her away once again. "Are you… SOBER?!"

"Aye. Wouldn't be much fun watching these idiots prance around if I wasn't."

"Hey," Matt beckoned from behind, prompting Carthus to turn around, "hey Carthus! Hey, hey! You know what I never realised?! How short you are! Like holy shit, you're barely taller than Pially! How tall are you?!"

"How the hell would I know?!"

Pially interjected, placing her elbow on Carthus' shoulder, "He's five foot four!"

"How do _you_ know?!" Carthus asked.

"A queen ought to know her subjects. Especially the more… interesting ones."

"God, you are a lot more ssssssexually aggressssssive when you're ssssssober."

Matt turned away from the two, and called over Hysees. She came almost instantly, and Matt wrapped his arm around her, pointing his free arm at Carthus.

Hysees let out a frightened scream, before Matt shut her up, saying, "Yeah yeah yeah, he's a snake. But look how short he is!"

Hysees gave an excited smile. "Oh. My. God, you're fucking adorable! Were you this small when you were a wriggler as well?!"

"Oh great! Thissssss issssss definitely a converssssssation I love to have. Let'ssssss jusssssst continue with that particular topic."

"Hey Carthus. Carthus!" Matt grabbed his attention again. "What's with the accents? Why do you guys have different accents? Like, you sound cockney British, Tarlia's troll Australian or something, and Pially sounds Irish! Is there a troll Ireland?!"

"Yessssss Matt, there'ssssss a troll Ireland."

"REALLY?!"

"Of coursssssse not, idiot! I don't even know what an Ireland issssss!"

Matt looked away, disappointed, before looking towards Hysees, gasping, and grabbing her face by the cheeks.

"Oh my God, Hysees. I LOVE your make-up! Can you do," he pointed toward her face with one hand, "that," he pointed to his face with the same hand, "to my face?"

Hysees grew wide-eyed, and replied, "Fuck. Yes. I'll make you look super hot!"

The two of them ran off to one of the sofas on the side of the room, placing themselves beside Jaloon. Hysees reached into one of her baggy jumpers' pockets and took out two separate paint colours, black and white, along with a short paint brush, and went to work on Matt's face. Carthus watched them for a moment, before brushing Pially off his shoulder and walking over to Jaloon. Tarlia had ditched her lonesome corner and joined Jaloon as well, grabbing Carthus into a hug.

"Carthus! Hey!" She pulled away. "Isn't this just amazing?!"

"I thought at leasssssst _you_ would be ssssssmart enough to avoid eating Pially'ssssss cooking."

"Oh, no! I never ate any of that! It was kind of obvious that it was laced!"

Jaloon put up a finger, and interjected, "You seem to forget, Burgundy-blood: Tarlia is the peppiest of the lot of us. I assume the drugs would most likely have the opposite effect on her."

"Why the hell are you not affected, then?"

Jaloon scoffed, "You think me that imbecilic? She's already attempted that trick on me several times before."

Carthus sighed and gestured towards Mattsprite, who continued his control over the lights. "I thought Matt banned you from coming back?"

"Yeah, well, he's not exactly in any position to kick me out again, is he?!"

"Issssss thissssss your mussssssic?!"

"You know it! Well, in a way, I guess! I remixed it! But I can play my own music as well! Guitar, violin, yada yada yada!"

Carthus sighed, and sat down on the sofa beside Jaloon. He placed his head on his hand, and laid his arm on the arm of the couch. He looked at Matt and Hysees on the other sofa; Hysees had already covered his eyes and mouth in black paint, and had begun working with the white on the rest of his face. Tarlia sat on her knees in front of them, a wide smile on her face, watching the two with obvious joy.

"You know, ssssssometimessssss I wonder if we'll even win the battle against the God Tier," Carthus told Jaloon. "What wassssss he ssssssuppossssssed to be again?"

"Prince of Life," Jaloon replied.

"Right. Can thissssss team even sssssstand againsssssst him? Maybe I'm jusssssst not a good enough leader, you know?"

"I can understand. But you're the best we got to lead. Hysees and Matt are too cocky, Tarlia's too nice when she's with you, Pially's… well, Pially, and God knows where the other human is."

"What about you?"

"Me? No, I was the leader of our original session. I certainly couldn't lead another."

Carthus looked up from the sofa and at Pially, who stood a few feet from him. "You!" He pointed at Pially. "Sssssside room. Now. There'ssssss sssssso much I need to berate you about."

Carthus rose up from the sofa, and grabbed Pially by the arm, leading her to a small separate room located near the bottom left corner of the building, opposite of the door leading outside, and closed the door behind them.

The next morning, Matt found himself waking up with no memory of what had happened the previous day. All he seemed to remember was Pially cooking the group some lunch, and then everything just went black. As he rubbed his head, which rested on the arm of the sofa, and slid his hand through his messy chestnut hair, he looked down at his stomach and noticed his Kismesis laid on top of him. He hesitated for a moment, noticing her light and quiet breathing, before lifting up her head, allowing him to get up from the sofa, and placing it back down. This awoke Hysees, who groaned and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

As she looked up at Matt, she immediately burst out laughing, "Oh my God, holy shit! You look ridiculously hot for once in your life!"

Matt looked at her, confused. "The hell are you talking about?"

"Your fucking face!"

Matt began feeling his face, but could not find anything wrong with it, so he simply raised an eyebrow at Hysees. He suddenly felt a hand grab his shoulder, turning around to find Tarlia standing behind him. She stifled a laugh, before reaching into her overcoat pocket and pulling out a small hand mirror, and flipping it open. Matt looked into the mirror, and screamed when he saw his face caked in the same kind of Juggalo-like make-up that Hysees wore.

"What the fuck did you do to me?!" he yelled, turning to Hysees.

"You think I know? I don't remember anything from after we ate lunch!"

"God damnit," he exhaled, "where the hell is Pially? Maybe she can tell us what she cooked."

Jaloon responded from the second sofa beside Hysees, "I believe that she went to talk with Carthus in the room over there. They've been in there all night."

"Carthus?" Matt asked. "Good. Still need to ask him about that game."

Matt followed Jaloons' directions, and walked across the empty building to the separate room that held Carthus and Pially. He knocked on the door just to make sure, and was called in by Carthus. He complied, opening the door and stepping inside to reveal Carthus leaning on the side of the wall across from him, while Pially sat on the ground to the side of Carthus taking drags from a joint, as usual. Matt glanced at Carthus, and immediately noticed a splotch of fuchsia on the side of his grey face.

"Hey Pially," Matt asked, "are your lips naturally purple or is that just lipstick?"

"Lipstick," Pially replied, "Why?"

Matt smiled, "Oh no reason. Just kind of begs the question." Matt stared at Carthus. "How long have you two been a thing for?"

"A thing?!" Carthus sputtered, "What do you mean a thing?"

Matt rolled his eyes, and tapped his cheek to indicate Carthus do the same. The troll complied, and wiped two fingers across his cheek. He then checked them, and his eyes widened as a smudge of fuchsia revealed itself. He quickly wiped the rest off his cheek with his hand, then wiped the same hand on his blazer, and rushed over to close the door.

He pointed two fingers at Matt, and ordered, "You never saw thissssss."

"Why not?" Matt scoffed.

"Do you realisssssse what a controverssssssy it'd be if the High-bloodssssss found out about thissssss? I'd be lynched!"

"I don't really mind," Pially interjected. "About the relationship getting out, not the lynching. It'd be kind of awkward if I didn't mind that!"

"Well what the hell do you know? Jusssssst pleasssssse don't tell _anyone_ about thissssss, Matt."

Matt held up his hands. "Fine, fine. I won't tell. It's no biggie, anyway."

"Thank you."


	10. Day ?

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Oh! Hello there, my dear! I do not believe we've had the pleasure of meeting yet. My name is not important, all that is important is that I get you up to speed.

Tick.

Do not mind the clock; that is just an heirloom I inherited from a former version of myself, one who lived in a different time all together. Allow me to introduce you to my home, a place I have lived in since the dawn of humanity. Though when I finally found my grandson, or technically my son, I finally found myself a companion to live with.

Tock.

Never-the-less, I am nothing if not a good host. I mean what kind of grandmother slash omniscient super being would I be if I didn't entertain my guests? Allow me to show you a story. A story about a Mage, a Thief, a Prince, and a Witch. A story about the destruction of a session, and the destruction of a fragile Heart. Please enjoy while I entertain other guests, ones that are much rowdier than yourself. And trust me when I say we shall see each other again. Too Doo Loo!

Jaloon leapt out of the gate, landing on his hands and knees with a hard thud. Why did she have to go after him? What did she see in fish-boy anyway? His head spun with questions as he stood up on the roof of a large, looming castle, fit for only the classiest of blood-castes. Gertrand's castle. It's a surprise the guys' home actually made it into the game. No matter what he did back on their home planet before the game, the guy sure had a good sense for imposing castles; the grey brick walls and spiralling towers made more menacing by the various coils of barbed wire and spiked poles set upon them. Quite extravagant for an Indigo blood. Jaloon gazed down upon Gertrand's land from the roof of the castle, which had been significantly built up by that point. This was it, the place where Yemen and Mahnda had run after Gertrand after he lost his temper and claimed to want to eliminate everyone's denizens. Gertrand's planet, the Land of Narrow Paths and Sunlight. God the place was bright.

He saw the various consorts below the castle, but couldn't recognise them from his current position. So instead, he ignored everything and entered a doorway down into the castle, rushing down the steps to catch up with Mahnda. Hopefully he could do something to convince her against following that ridiculous Violet blooded Thief around any longer. He spiralled down the steps, jumping the last couple of steps and turning a corner, entering a large hallway filled with various pictures of Gertrand's various journeys that he'd had Tarlia draw for him. He jogged down the hallway, the heavy steps from his boots echoing in the hallway as he did.

Yelling could be heard down another hallway, and Jaloon eagerly followed it. He eventually found the source, and the reason he'd come here; Yemen, the Thief of Space, Gertrand, the Prince of Life, and Mahnda, the Witch of Light. Mahnda was the obvious centre of attention, her long and frivolous dress falling around her five foot six stature. The Jade blood's hair fell in front of her face, half of it shaved of as a sort of fashion statement and one of her curly horns poking out from it, as she made a concerned frown towards the two others in the room.

Yemen, the Violet blood, stood to her left, a scowl of disgust directed towards Gertrand on the other side of Mahnda. He, like the other fishy troll in their session, was decorated in various pieces of jewellery ranging from necklaces to rings to earrings. His robe's popped collar covered the base of his chin, and covered the entirety of his five foot nine body except for a pair of lace up boots on his feet. His slightly curved horns extruded from his head, pointed towards his aggressor.

Meanwhile, Gertrand, the Indigo blood, stood on Mahnda's other side, his cane-sword sat in one of his hands. Unlike everyone else in the session, Gertrand had ascended God Tier very early into the game, but had swapped his quote unquote "fruity" outfit in favour of his own style of clothing, which could barely be passed as an outfit. He preferred to leave his chest bare, painting various coloured streaks in reference to the different blood castes in troll society on his torso, while only wearing a pair of dress pants that showed off his bare feet. The curly hair that sat upon his head mostly obscured his nubby horns, though the ends still poked out the top.

Mahnda finally noticed Jaloon stood watching them, and gestured towards him. "Finally!" She exclaimed, "Jaloon, as the dear leader of our session, could you talk some sense into these dipshits?"

Yemen stepped forward, waving an arm out in front of him, "Stay the hell out of this, Jaloon. And Mahnda, honey, I get the whole "Mary Sue" complex your having, but leave this situation to the men, okay?"

Mahnda snarled at him, "What the fuck does that mean?"

"I mean it's cute that a Jade-blooded woman like yourself thinks that she can get involved in business meant for the males, you know?"

"Oh don't you fucking dare start with that, fish douche!"

"Guys," Jaloon said in an authoritative tone, "we can sort out this little Kismessitude later. For now, we have to deal with whatever you guys are feuding over." Jaloon turned to the Indigo blood. "Gertrand, what's wrong? Why are you so intent on killing everyone's denizens?"

"It's hard to explain," Gertrand sighed, "my consorts were sort of vague about it, and my sprite wasn't much better, but from what I got the denizens are basically genocidal maniacs who rule over their people with an iron fist. And god damn it, the only one around here that can do that is me."

"You're just jealous because they're better warlords than you!" the Thief added.

Gertrand growled, and unsheathed his sword from his cane, but Jaloon interrupted him before he could go any further. "Okay then. Yemen, why do you even care about it? They're bad guys, so they should die, shouldn't they?"

Yemen bore his sharp teeth. "Hell no! The things are too important to die, and maniac here wants to doom our session by killing them!"

"How do you know their important?" Jaloon questioned.

"Because Tarlia's lusus told me!"

"Wait, what?" Jaloon replied.

"Yeah, the thing just turned up in my room one night and expositioned the shit out of me. I don't understand why Tarlia was so insistent about keeping us from it!"

Mahnda gestured a hand at him. "But shouldn't her lusus be with her in her session?"

"I don't know, and I don't care. But if Gertrand is willing to doom us all, how long until he murders us all personally? He was going to kill me if you didn't step in!"

"Because you're pissing me off!" Gertrand intruded.

"Gertrand, please," Jaloon plead, "Don't kill him. We can't show him that he's right."

"God damn it Jaloon. I hope you realise the only reason I won't snap his scrawny neck is because of you."

Yemen took a couple of steps towards Jaloon. "Now order him to not kill our denizens!"

Jaloon tentatively stepped back. "Well, I honestly don't see the big deal. It's your word against his, and I trust his word a lot more than yours."

"Oh you're fucking joking! You're a fucking pathetic excuse for a leader!"

Mahnda walked up and pushed him away from Jaloon. "Don't say that! Jaloon's got us this far! It's your stubborn nook that's refusing to spend weeks on the breeding of the Genesis Frog!"

"Did I ask for the input of a middle-classed woman?"

"Hey!" Jaloon shouted, "Don't you dare speak to her that way!"

"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it? Are you going to protect your little flushed crush?" Yemen gestured at Mahnda. "You knew, right? It's not like he never made it obvious. The nice gestures, all the presents and hanging out, you had to know those were signs? But of course none of them would work, right?"

Jaloon kept quiet, an uncomfortable frown on his face, as Gertrand attempted to interrupt him. "Yemen, shut the hell up before-"

"Oh, that reminds me! What about his little wannabe Moirallegiance with you? How he was trying to slide into the Pale quadrant with you, but since he's too fucking pathetic to make a move he never stood a chance. In fact, how many failed exploits do you have, Jaloon? Let's count. There was that absolutely adorable flushed crush on Carthus, the other Pale crush on Pially, the weird hate crush on Hysees, and so on so forth. I mean, Christ, Tarlia wouldn't even have intercourse with you like she did with everyone else!"

Gertrand's anger grew as Yemen talked, but Yemen continued, "And you know why you can never find someone to love you? Because you're a pathetic excuse for a troll! Because you can't grow a bulge and just ask someone out! And you're going to end up alone, Jaloon. You're going to end up dead and alone, because literally no-one could ever love you, you pathetic piece of fucking shit!"

That was the moment Gertrand snapped, and he unsheathed his sword, rushing forwards at Yemen. Gertrand could've sworn he heard someone scream no as he did, but that wasn't enough to stop him as he raised his sword in front of him, and ran it through the body in front of him. Gertrand closed his eyes as his target grabbed at the sword in pain, but eventually fell limp. As Gertrand opened his eyes, he heard a gasp come from Jaloon, and saw the Jade blood on his sword. Wait, Jade blood?

Gertrand's head slowly tilted up, and he saw Mahnda instead of Yemen at the end of his sword. Her body was completely still, any type of life drained from her. Gertrand slowly looked over at Jaloon, who had a few diluted blue tears falling from his face, then at Yemen, whom had a surprised expression. Eventually, he pulled his sword out from Mahnda and let her body fall to the ground, a pool of blood forming around her.

Yemen was the first to speak up, pointing a finger hastily at Gertrand, "SEE?! I told you! I wasn't even insulting him and he went to kill me! See Jaloon!" Jaloon wiped the tears from his eyes, and looked between Yemen and Gertrand before beginning to walk towards Yemen. "I mean, he didn't even kill _me!_ He killed the little crush of yours! I mean personally, I'd say good riddance, but I feel like that's disrespectful to the recently deceased. Come on, the idiot shouldn't of have got herself involved in issues for boys, am I right?"

Jaloon stopped in front of Yemen, his height an imposing factor towards the Thief, and picked him up by the neck with one hand. Yemen struggled a little, letting out a series of grunts, and made a weak kick into Jaloon's gut. With a flick of his wrist, Jaloon snapped the fish's neck, and let his limp body fall to the ground. He then turned to Mahnda's dead body, and picked it up, cradling it in his arms.

"Jaloon," Gertrand mumbled, "I didn't mean to kill her. She just got in the wa-"

"Gertrand," Jaloon said angrily, "I don't want to see your face around me or my friends ever again. If I ever see you, and I mean ever, I _will_ kill you."

"But I-"

"Do you understand?"

Gertrand nodded slowly. "Yeah, I understand."

"Good." Jaloon made his way past Gertrand, keeping his eye contact off of him still.

"Hey Jaloon?" Gertrand stopped him in his tracks. "I also think, and this is just something that one of my minions mentioned off-hand, that our session and Carthus' session may be the same session."

Jaloon finally looked at him, a dead-pan look in his eyes, and replied, "Okay then. I'll trust you on that. I'll warn Carthus of our impending arrival."


	11. Day 203

"That's it?" Matt said dejectedly, giving a pout in the general direction of Hysees. The two were sat in Matt's house, as their group always seemed to be, though sitting was not what either of them were doing. Matt had just finished showing Hysees one of the Insane Clown Posse's music videos, expecting some sort of reaction from the Juggalo, especially since she had no clue of their existence. But after the video, Hysees had just shrugged off the experience, going back to doing pull-ups in Matt's home gym, while Matt sat down with his guitar in hand. He wouldn't admit it, but he enjoyed just hanging out with Hysees like this, sneaking glances at her athletic body and biceps as she exercised.

Hysees grunted as she pulled herself above the bar, "Yep, sorry to disappoint ya' buddy."

Matt fondled an exercise ball as he spoke, "Well that kinda' sucks."

"Well what exactly did you expect? That I was gonna' freak out and start murdering bitches? Puh-lease, I ain't that angry."

Matt pushed the exercise ball across the room, causing it to lightly crash into a pyramid of weights. "You couldn't just humour me or something? Like, smash a few walls? Kick me in the stomach?"

Hysees pulled herself above the bar and kept herself there for a second, giving Matt a smirk. "Man, the way you're talking, it's like you got a fucking fetish or some shit like that for getting hurt."

Matt blushed, and turned away, attempting to hide the fact that he did kind of get pleasure from the attacks, though Matt usually chalked it up to spousal abuse rather than BDSM. Once he'd gotten himself under control, he went back to plucking the strings of his guitar, eventually tuning his guitar and playing a light melody on his acoustic guitar.

Soon enough, he heard the door slam open, and a familiar cockney voice rang through the room, "God damn it, where the hell issssss sssssshe?"

Matt pulled his attention to Carthus, whilst Hysees continued her routine. "Where's who, dude?" Matt asked.

Carthus examined the room frantically, his head darting back and forth. "Tarlia. Sssssshe'ssssss sssssstarting to masssssster her powerssssss, and sssssshe learned thissssss ability where sssssshe could-"

"CARTHUS!" Tarlia screamed directly behind Carthus, a few inches from his ears. She had seemedly appeared out of thin air, and Carthus fell to the ground in shock.

"Holy shit," Hysees exclaimed, dropping from the bar, "Tarlia, where the hell did you come from?"

Tarlia shook her fists in excitement, a wide smile on her face. "Guess!"

Hysees sighed, "Can't you just tell me?"

"Nooooope! You have to guess!"

Hysees slid her hand through her braidless, curly hair. "I don't know, did you telepo-"

"I teleported!" Tarlia interrupted.

Matt chuckled, "Wait, you can teleport? Is that a troll thing?"

"Nope! It's an Space thing! As long as I know the location of someone or something, I can just teleport to it, like-" Tarlia disappeared from behind Carthus, who was still lying on the ground, and reappeared in front of Matt. "POOF!"

As Tarlia excitedly explained, Matt took the time to notice her seemingly recently cerulean dyed hair. "Oh hey, when'd you dye your hair?"

Tarlia directed him a large smile. "Oh, so glad that _you_ noticed. I'm glad someone did!"

"Get off my back, I'm not your human internet girlfriend." Carthus snapped.

Hysees chirped in from behind Tarlia. "Well, your powers are way more worthwhile than a worthless piece of shit rust bloods."

Carthus raised his upper torso off the ground. "Matt, tell Hysssssseessssss to go sssssscrew hersssssself."

"Why can't you tell her yourself?" Matt asked.

"Stop trying to pull my boyfriend into an auspistice quadrant, asshole!" Hysees barked.

"Matt, tell Hysssssseessssss that that issssss not what I'm doing."

"What the hell's an auspitice?" Matt kept questioning.

"It's another god damn quadrant," Hysees replied, "but in order for you to be an auspitice, you'd have to stop being my kismesis. And this douchebag fuckwit is trying to pull you out of a kismessitude."

Matt glared at Carthus. "Stop trying to break up me and my girlfriend."

Carthus muffled a loud groan with his hands, before waving his hands to end the conversation. "Whatever. It doessssssn't matter." He pulled himself up off the ground, straightened his cap, and turned to Tarlia. "Sssssso you coming or what?"

Tarlia's smile didn't flinch. "Nope! Sorry, still got stuff to do, powers to learn. You know how it is!"

Matt intervened between the two, "Wait, coming where? What's happening?"

Carthus took his cap off and ran his hand through his messy hair. "I need to go create our paradox clonessssss."

"Our what?" Matt raised an eyebrow at him.

"Paradox clonessssss. I'm creating ussssss, and ssssssending ussssss back in time sssssso we can exisssssst. And I'm not doing it if no one comessssss."

"But isn't Jaloon there?" Tarlia asked.

"He doessssssn't count. He'ssssss not exactly the funnesssssst persssssson to talk to."

Matt stifled a sigh, feeling bad for the fact that Jaloon had a crush on that guy. "Well you obviously do, brah." He then said matter of factly.

"Fuck you. Don't usssssse logic againsssssst me, or I sssssswear to God I will doom thissssss entire timeline by not creating ussssss."

"Don't think that's how it works, dude. And I would know." Matt placed his guitar against the couch, and got up, stretching his arms out. "But whatever, you want someone to come? I'll come. Seen enough versions of myself anyway."

"Have you sssssseen yoursssssself assssss a wriggler though?"

"As a what?"

"Oh, uh, what wassssss it humanssssss called themsssssselvessssss assssss ssssssmall verssssssionssssss of themsssssselvessssss?"

"I think they were called babies!" Tarlia chimed in.

"WAIT WHAT," Matt placed his hands over his mouth, "I get to see myself as a baby?! Well what are we waiting for?" Matt ran past Carthus, practically bounding outside of the room. "C'mon, let's go let's go let's go!" Matt's excitement was interrupted by a chime from his Portable Computer, and held up a finger at Carthus. "Hold up. Be a second."

Carthus through his hands into the air. "Alrighty then, not like Jaloon'ssssss waiting for ussssss or nothing."

Matt made a clicking sound with his mouth, as he made guns using his one of his hands, and answered the message in the other.

VisualizingExpectation (VE) began Pestering DailySpelunker (DS)

VE: Uh  
VE: This might seem kind of sudden  
VE: But I felt like I should let you know that I'm still alive  
DS: ok…?  
DS: good for you buddy  
DS: whoever you are  
DS: really just proud of you  
VE: Oh!  
VE: I forgot I changed my tag  
VE: Matt, it's me. Tara  
DS: uhh thats not a funny joke  
VE: No, really, I swear!  
VE: I know, it's been, what? Half a year?  
VE: But I've had a lot of time to think  
VE: About myself  
VE: My beliefs  
VE: All the things I've done in my life  
DS: holy shit, it really is you  
DS: only the real tara would drone on like that  
DS: so you're over it  
DS: can we meet up or what  
VE: Not exactly, sorry  
VE: But I just don't think I'm ready to do that!  
DS: really  
DS: c'mon T I miss ya  
VE: Sorry Matt  
VE: But I can't trust myself right now  
VE: But I'm getting there, one step at a time  
VE: I've had this sweet guy, who I guess is a troll but not one we've met, helping me  
VE: I think his tag was NotoriousCaptain or something like that  
DS: wait  
DS: you've been talking to jaloon  
VE: Oh, you know him?  
DS: dude I've met all the trolls  
VE: So they actually are trolls then?  
DS: yep  
DS: theres actually like 5 of them right now  
DS: excluding the god tier dude  
VE: Wow  
VE: Okay, noted  
VE: But Jaloon is the only one I've been talking directly to since then  
VE: The guy's actually surprisingly good at being a psychiatrist  
VE: Though, I got to ask  
VE: How is Tarlia? Is she okay since my outburst? I mean, is she even still into me anymore? I wouldn't be surprised if she was dating you now  
DS: oh god no  
DS: dude she is way still into you  
DS: she's even trying to break her bad habits just so she doesn't scare you off  
VE: Wait, what habits?  
VE: Like smoking? Drinking?  
DS: necrophilia  
VE: Oh  
VE: Uhhh  
VE: That's just…  
VE: Wow  
DS: eh, they're trolls  
DS: weird culture  
DS: you know I'm in  
DS: like  
DS: a hate relationship  
DS: like I hate her  
DS: but I'm also bangin her  
VE: Okay  
VE: One- gross  
VE: Two- can we scale it back to the necrophilia  
VE: That was a joke right?  
DS: uh  
VE: RIGHT?  
DS: yea sure  
DS: let's go with that  
VE: Sigh  
VE: Darn it, what have I turned into?  
VE: I'm already thinking of her as my girlfriend  
VE: I haven't even met her!  
DS: dude  
DS: you're turning into me  
VE: Gosh, I hope not  
VE: A fate worse than death  
DS: screw you  
DS: but please don't go again  
DS: I miss ya T  
VE: I'm sorry!  
VE: But I don't feel ready  
VE: I still got some heavy stuff to deal with  
VE: I just felt like I should let you know I wasn't dead  
DS: I guess  
VE: Hey Matt  
VE: I hope to meet your girlfriend when we do meet again, right?  
DS: what are you my mom  
DS: but  
DS: sure  
DS: I'd be happy to  
VE: :)

VisualisingExpectation (VE) ceased Pestering DailySpelunker (DS)


	12. Realizations

Carthus was the first to appear on the other side of the portal, the thing giving off a faint purple glow against his skin. He landed carefully on the damp cloth of a small alcove to the side of a large courtyard, and was immediately greeted by a raging monsoon. The water and wind blasted against his skin, and his jacket flapped around his body. He could barely hear the sound of footsteps landing behind him, and only turned when Matt tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to face him, and saw Matt with his arm in front of his eyes as a makeshift shield.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Matt called at the top of his lungs, though Carthus could barely hear it over the whipping sounds of the wind around them.

"SSSSSSHE DID SSSSSSAY HER PLANET WASSSSSS ANNOYING, DIDN'T SSSSSSHE?" Carthus replied. He stepped back a bit, letting his back hit what used to be a fruit stall. The fruit was long gone, and the small cover that presumably was to protect it from rain had fallen around it.

"YEAH, BUT I THOUGH IT WOULD'VE BEEN SOMETHING LIKE 'OH HEY, IT'S A LITTLE HOT.' NOT WHATEVER BULLSHIT THIS IS!"

Carthus blinked the water out of his eyes, and took Matt's hand. Matt let out an audible 'HEY,' but Carthus had no time for his human bullshit. The two jogged outside of the alcove and out into a large courtyard, filled to the brim with dilapidated market stalls and strangely shaped skeletons. Matt felt his foot stomp on one, and would've shuddered if he weren't cold from the monsoon that blared around him. Carthus led him through the courtyard, towards the largest building in the area, and busted the door open to get them both inside.

Once inside, the two began to pant, and Matt wriggled his hand from Carthus' grasp. "Dude, don't hold my hand. That's weird."

"How the hell issssss that weird?" Carthus grunted at him.

"'Cause I ain't into dudes, man."

Carthus straightened his jacket and cap, turning away from Matt. "God you guyssssss are weird. Issssss Tara not 'into dudessssss' assssss well?"

Matt shrugged. "I dunno. She seemed pretty into dudes before she met Tarlia."

"Oh yessssss, that fiassssssco." Carthus sighed, and turned to Matt again. Matt realised that Carthus' face was dripping with a liquid that wasn't water. It was grey face paint, and behind it revealed a pair of burgundy bags below his eyes.

"Uh, Carthus, do you wear make-up?" Matt asked, pointing at his face.

Carthus reached up and dabbed a pair of fingers on his face, the soggy grey make-up staining his fingers. "God damn it," he sighed, "guessssss it'ssssss out now. Yessssss, I do in fact wear make-up."

"Are those bags make-up as well?"

"No, you mong, they're an actual part of my face. Troll geneticssssss and all that." He wiped the rest of the make-up off with a nearby piece of clothing he found on the ground, undoubtedly owned by the skeleton underneath.

"Oh, so it's like your eye colours!" Matt explained.

"What? No, nothing like that. How'd you even know that anyway?"

"I dunno. Kind of just guessed that from the fact that, what was it, nearly seven months ago when I met you? You guys had no eye colours. It was actually kind of freaky. But they've been slowly fading in, and you guys all have these weird colours as well."

"Well, they do color in as our resssssspective blood colorssssss."

"That's pretty neat. But it makes doin' stuff with Hysees weird, what with those freaky purple eyes. I mean, I still do the stuff, and it's actually really metal and awesome and…" Matt trailed off. "Huh. Thinking about it, I'm kind of digging her eye colour. Where was I going with that anyway?" He turned to Carthus, who had narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Your relationsssssship with that rage-aholic bitch issssss taking a weird turn. You guyssssss have really toned down with the hating each other bit of the Kissssssmessssssissssss. If I'm not misssssstaken, you guyssssss may be heading for a Matesssssspritsssssship."

Matt scoffed, "So what, you're saying I'm in love with Hysees?" Matt chuckled. "That is ridiculous. Just because I enjoy spending time with her, learning about her, telling her jokes, teaching her to play the guitar, and oh my God I'm in love with Hysees." Matt slid his hands down his face. "How the actual fuck am I in love with Hysees? Oh my God. How am I supposed to tell her?"

"Calm down, I know sssssshe'ssssss an almighty bulgelord, but it'ssssss not like you have cancer or ssssssomething."

Matt sighed, "I know, but what if she's not in love with me back? She's still so aggressive in private, and I don't want to end up in a state of quadrant turmoil like you and Pially! Christ, I still don't understand Quadrants that well, I still call it hate-love!" He rubbed his forehead with two fingers. "God damn it, I have a lot to think about. Anyway, how's 'bout we move back to the topic at hand. The bags?"

Carthus snapped back to the previous conversation. "Oh yeah, well, there issssssn't much there, other than it issssss a very unique feature among trollssssss. Like, one in a couple hundred thoussssssand have them. And I am unfortunate enough to be that one."

"Well why do you hide it then if it's genetics?"

"Becausssssse it'ssssss embarressssssing!"

"You really shouldn't be insecure about something you can't change. Like your height!"

"Thankssssss Matt, glad you brought up another inssssssecurity. Really."

Matt shrugged. "Well why are embarrassed by it anyway? I think it makes you look bad-ass."

"I jusssssst don't like it. It makessssss me look like I wear make… up… God damn, I'm fucking sssssstupid."

"Dude, you got a lot more problems than you let on. Kind of insignificant as well. I mean, I've been having to worry about accidentally making a weird troll-human hybrid baby with Hysees. I mean, that'd be really weird."

Carthus threw the clothing down, and began walking away, further into the building. "I don't think you'd have to worry about that. Trolls can't actually make wrigglers themselves."

Matt followed him, talking as the two made their way through the rotten wooden building. "So there's no chance of getting her pregnant? Well that's a relief. Why the hell can't you guys reproduce yourselves anyway? I mean, you got the parts. The lady ones at least."

Carthus opened a back door, leading to a roofed alleyway that covered them from the rain. He looked both ways, one of them being a dead end with a couple of trashcans knocked over, the other leading to a street where the monsoon continued. Instead of heading either way, he simply jogged across the alley and opened a door on the other side, gesturing Matt through and closing the door behind them.

"Well, that'ssssss the thing, I think we actually might have once upon a time. Both partiessssss had the organssssss, but at ssssssome point during our hisssssstory, I guessssss we musssssst've devolved to how we reproduce now."

Matt's whole body shook from the cold. "Devolved? Don't you mean evolve?"

"No, I meant devolve. Would it really be an upgrade if we had to have a third party to birth our wrigglerssssss? What if they dissssssapeared? We'd have no way of continuing our race."

"So you guys aren't going to be able to continue your race if we lost the game? I mean, at least me and Tara could do the dirty out of an obligation to the human race, but you guys?"

Carthus stopped dead in his tracks. "I… guessssss not. Even if we win, would there be a new troll race in the new universssssse? If not, after Pially diessssss, we'd be extinct."

The two stayed silent for a moment, before Matt spoke up again. "That's kind of scary man. I'm sorry for bringing it up. But, are you guys sure you actually physically can't make babies?"

Carthus lifted his head up. "I don't actually know. Maybe, if by some miracle, our productive systems could start up again, but the chances of that-"

"Why don't you try then? I mean, I've seen the shit that comes after a troll has sex, and it ain't really that different from cum. Maybe you and Pially could try and make a royal slash peasant baby sometime in the future."

Carthus began walking again, examining the house that the two had entered, with its surprisingly decorative wooden carvings and paintings depicting happy families of what looked like velociraptors. "I don't know. I jusssssst really don't know, and that sssssscares me. Right now, I guessssss we'd have to try."

Matt nodded. "Good plan. But going back a bit, what did you mean by 'after Pially dies?'"

Carthus perked up, trying to get the thoughts of extinction from his mind. "Oh, yeah, I ssssssupposssssse it'd be important to tell you. Depending on a trollssssss blood color, a troll could live a very long life. Like, out of everyone, Pially issssss going to live the longesssssst, probably going to be nearly a thoussssssand ssssssweepssssss due to her having the highesssssst blood casssssste. Meanwhile I, assssss the lowesssssst, would live a couple of dozen at mosssssst."

"Jesus dude, that's sad. I mean, aren't you scared of dying that early? Knowing all your friends are going to live long after you?"

"Not really. It'd probably affect them a lot more than me. I'll be dead, remember? But I jusssssst worry for Tarlia. Sssssshe'll be unpredictable. I'm the only thing keeping her from murdering ussssss all. But sssssshe sssssstill caressssss about me a lot, and I…" He paused for a second. "Maybe you can assssssk them about that. I can't really sssssspeak for them."

"So how long is Hysees gonna live?"

"A hell of a lot longer than you, probably. Maybe sssssseven to eight hundred ssssssweepssssss? Or one and a half thoussssssand human yearssssss."

"Damn, that's kind of sad to think about. Especially now that I know I'm in love with her. How old are you guys now anyway? Never got around to asking."

"Mosssssst of ussssss are almosssssst ten now. Ssssssweepssssss, that issssss."

Matt raised an eyebrow. "Ten sweeps? Isn't a sweep like two years? So you guys are-" His eyes widened in realisation. "You guys are nearly twenty years old?!"

Carthus nodded. "Yessssss. Why, issssss there ssssssomething wrong with that?"

"No, it's just weird to know that I'm dating a girl who's nearly four years older than me! And it's weird to think that you guys, you and Pially especially, are older than me. You know, 'cause you were, what? Five foot four? And Pially's just barely shorter than you. I mean, Jaloon and Hysees I can definitely see as twenty year olds, and Tarlia could pass as one, but you guys? Eh."

Carthus looked at him unimpressed. "Thank you. Really, I love it when you mention me being sssssshort. How would you like it if I mentioned your humannessssss?"

"That'd be more of a compliment, if anything."

Carthus groaned, "Fuck you. Let'ssssss jusssssst be quiet for the resssssst of the trip."

Matt nodded, making a zipping motion over his lips. He obediently followed Carthus, as they made their way further into the desolated town located in the Land of Beaches and Monsoons.


	13. Basic Paradox Knowledge

Matt and Carthus finally found their way into a building that housed their objective, both sopping wet from the monsoon. Carthus led the way through the building and down some stairs, a single bulb illuminating the staircase, while Matt followed close behind. Down the stairs was pitch black though, almost as if they were descending into the void itself. As they stepped down into the darkness, Carthus sighed and felt around the wall beside him for a few seconds before flicking on a switch and lighting up the whole room. It was a fairly large room, probably a little bigger than a barn, but a large machine took up over a quarter of the space. The machine had four pods, two on each side, each empty and connected to a large computer in between them by tubes. Beside the machine sat Jaloon on an old ruined sofa, his head buried in his book and wearing his usual polyester button up shirt with the long sleeves rolled up and worn jeans. He looked up at the two as the lights flickered on.

"Damn it Jaloon, keep the god damn lightssssss on when I'm gone." Carthus groaned, "Did you really get up and turn them off while I left?"

"Yup," Jaloon confirmed, "prefer to read in the darkness."

"What's it even like?" Matthew asked.

"Like seeing normally." Jaloon closed his book, and sat up cross legged on the sofa. "But with this greenish tint to it. I mainly use it for the novelty."

"That's pretty sick." Matt reached into his baseball jacket and pulled out a small carton of cigarettes, flipping open the lid and sliding out a cigarette and lighter. He placed the butt of the cigarette in his mouth and lit the other end, the flick of the lighter prompting Carthus to face him. He took a drag and placed his lighter back in his pocket while he used his other hand to take the cigarette from his mouth so he could blow out the smoke.

"What the hell are you doing?" Carthus demanded, crossing his arms.

"Smoking." Matt glanced at Carthus. "Don't tell Hysees. She'd kill me if she found out."

"I may jusssssst do that mysssssself. But why the fuck are you doing it?"

Matt shrugged as he took another drag. "I dunno. Just kinda got into it after the FLARPing session when I found a massive pile that my grandma owned. Guess she was a heavy smoker, not that you could tell. Woman kept herself looking good for a sixty-five year old."

"Your what? What'ssssss a 'grandma?'"

"What do you mean 'what's a grandma?' It's like a mom, but her mom as well. They're family. My grandma was the one that took care of me all the time because my parents were never around." Matt lent up against the machine, while Carthus listened curiously and Jaloon went back to his book. "She was awesome. This one time, like a week before the game was released, I got suspended from school for beating up a couple of bullies that insulted Tara. Instead of yelling at me, she pat me on the back and congratulated me for standing up to them. And she was a legend, dating men and women less than half her age. God, she was a major inspiration for me to be the quarterback for our school team and school captain, before I was suspended of course."

Matt sighed, a large smile on his face, "Man I miss her. She full on disappeared when the game started. And now that I think about it, she seemed to know an awful lot about the game. She gave me and Tara a copy the day it came out, and really insisted we play it. Like, really insisted. And she was always there for me, like coming out of nowhere and shit. It always kinda weirded me out how she always seemed to know stuff before it happened, like she was omnipotent or something. Huh." Matt crossed his arms and tilted his head downwards so he looked at the concrete floor. "Maybe she was. With this game, I don't know how far it goes back." He looked back up at Carthus. "Can you give me anything about this?"

"Well," Carthus began, "I wouldn't know about omnipotence. But what we are doing here may relate to her knowledge of the game." Carthus pushed Matt out of the way, accessing the computer and booting it up. "We are creating oursssssselvessssss, including Gertrand and the other dead people from our ssssssessssssion."

"Wait, our session? I thought Jaloon and the others came from another session."

"Nope. Get with the timessssss Matt. We've been in the ssssssame ssssssessssssion all along."

"Wait," Jaloon looked up at the two from his cross legged position on the sofa, "Can't we just not create Gertrand? Keep him from destroying our session?"

"Doesn't work like that, brah," Matt answered. "As the guy man of time, it is my professional opinion that we not doom our session by doing that. It's basic paradox knowledge dude."

Carthus pressed another button, which made the machine emit a couple of beeps, and the camera zoomed into a handsome looking adult troll, a burgundy blood by the look of it. After zooming in on him, a pad located near the machine copied the troll and made a replicate using green slime, but it dissolved and filled up one of the ten tubes.

"What the hell was that?" Matt asked, scratching his head.

"My ancesssssstor, I think. Hissssss genessssss, at leasssssst."

Carthus pressed another button, and this time the computer zoomed in on an elegant looking woman troll in a fancy suit. Her lipstick and eyeliner was of a Jade colour, to match her eyes. Just as the machine had done with the other man, it copied her and sent her to the same tube that Carthus's ancestor had gone to. Then the next troll, one which Matt could tell was Tarlia's due to the torn dress and overcoat that she wore, as well as her certain physical features, was given the same treatment and sent to a different tube. As was the guardian for Tanya, her dad, Matt's own dad, and the ancestors of everyone else in the game.

Eventually, Carthus sighed and rubbed his forehead, as his finger hovered over the button to complete the Ectobiology process. As his finger pressed the button, the tubes were all drained in succession, and the pad near the machine began to glow intensely. Matt stepped away cautiously, while Carthus braced himself for the arrival, and with a flash the pad was filled with the result of the machine, the Paradox Clones. Two babies of Matt and Tara and eight different coloured caterpillar looking representing the trolls.

Matt initially rubbed his eyes in disbelief, but he soon gasped at the sight in front of him. "Oh my god it's us as babies!" he squealed, rushing towards them. He scooped the male baby up and held it by the armpits. "Holy shit look how fucking adorable I look! Hey baby, this handsome mug is what you're gonna look like in sixteen years." The baby coughed as it smelt the smoke from his cigarette, and Matt giggled a little bit. "What the fuck how are these guys so adorable?"

He looked down and picked up the burgundy coloured wriggler with his free hand, cradling both. "Dude, dude, dude dude! Carthus, look how fucking adorable you are!"

Carthus paced over to Matt and crossed his arms in a huff. "Fuck no, thesssssse thingssssss are sssssstupid and I don't want them touching me."

While Carthus said that, the purple wriggler decided to climb up his leg and back and rest itself on his shoulder, a small high pitched squeal coming from its mouth. "I think they like me!" he laughed.

"Jusssssst assssss long assssss they sssssstay away from me I'll be-" Carthus was interrupted by the machine behind him displayed the same sound as when Carthus had created the Paradox Clones. As the two turned around, they noticed the tubes had filled up once again, and the machine processed them into ten more Paradox Clones similar to the groups own, but with slight differences, and teleported them to the pad.

Carthus recoiled back and screamed, "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL TARLIA DIDN'T MENTION MORE OF THEM?!"

Matt gasped and let out a muffled squeak, rushing forward to the newly created clones, which had begun mingling with the first group. "Holy shit this is the greatest day of my life!"

As Matt fell into the group, playing around with the clones as they crawled around him, Carthus looked on in terror. "Oh my God, why the hell did I agree to do thissssss?"

Jaloon came up beside him, cradling a Cerulean coloured wriggler in his large arms. "Lighten up, Carthus. This is kind of adorable." Jaloon smiled at Carthus, nudging him in the shoulder.

"Sssssshut up, it'ssssss fucking sssssstupid. I would have thought you'd be above thissssss."

Jaloon shrugged. "I can have emotions."

"I know that," Carthus attempted to shake off one of the Purple wrigglers off his foot, "we all realize that. I jusssssst thought you were ssssssmarter than that."

"Nope, sorry to disappoint."

Carthus groaned as he felt the wriggler attempt to climb up his leg. He continued to shake his leg until he noticed another one crawling its way to him. He shook more vigorously, but the thing already grabbed onto his other leg, causing him to trip backwards and land hard on his back. This allowed the two wrigglers to climb up his body, while another one clung onto his side.

"No, God damn it, get off of me!"

Jaloon looked over him, gently rocking his arms that had the wriggler in them. "Oh come on, they like you!"

"I'd rather they didn't." Carthus reached up to Jaloon. "Go! Ssssssave yoursssssself!"

"What exactly do you want me to do?"

"I don't know! Wassssssn't there ssssssomething you had to deal with on this planet with Hysees to sssssstop thesssssse sssssstupid monssssssoonssssss?"

"You sure you're okay here with Matt?"

"Yessssss, jusssssst go."

Jaloon rolled his eyes, and placed his wriggler on Carthus' stomach, then pulling out his tablet to contact Hysees.

NotoriousCaptain (NC) began Trolling ElixirTrickster (ET)

NC: Hys[-[-s  
NC: You r[-ady for your m[-[-ting with your d[-niz[-n?  
ET: what FUCKING already  
ET: what the SHIT  
ET: but what the FUCK ever  
ET: i'll be at my house in a few GOD DAMN minutes  
NC: I'll b[- waiting

NotoriousCaptain (NC) ceased Trolling ElixirTrickster (ET)


	14. Our Hero of Anger

Jaloon shut the wooden door behind him, having just travelled halfway across the almost desolated city and through the constant monsoon. He grabbed his medium length unkempt hair in both hands and squeezed as much water from it as he could as he made his way to Hysees deeper in the large community centre. Jaloon had agreed to help Hysees a week ago when she got frustrated with completing a particularly confusing quest that the local government, or what was left of it, had given her. Jaloon had been quite the yes-troll lately, ignoring his own planets problems in favour of hanging out and helping his friends.

He jogged up a pair of stairs, passing one of the locals, part of a species of medium sized velociraptors, and entered a giant meeting room. In the middle was a large rectangular table that lacked any chairs, and around the room the consorts stood with various weapons held in their arms. At the other end was Hysees, stuck in what seemed like an argument with what seemed like the leader of the local government.

As he moved to greet them, he caught wind of their conversation. "Just be clear with the fucking problem so I can help you solve it, slime for a think-pan!" Hysees yelled.

"I am being as clear as I can," the thing replied, a little smaller than Hysees' 6 foot two stature, "We need to find a way to incite war with the south!"

"But how the hell does that solve your problem? If the monsoon is because of your denizen, then why fight them? I'm all for a good fight, but it needs to be justified!"

"And if they throw the first punch, we can easily retaliate without being in the morally wrong!"

"BUT I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, FUCKWAD!"

Jaloon came up behind Hysees, placing a hand on her shoulder and intervening, "Hysees, no need to yell at the quest-giver. Excuse us sir, but we'll get on this problem right away. One question though- if we wanted to negotiate some peaceful solution, what exactly would you want in order to consider it?"

The consort crossed its arms, its raspy voice making a frustrated sigh, "I suppose, MAYBE, we can come to an understanding with those psychopaths. On one condition: they disassemble their nuclear weapons and allow our merchants full access to their cities."

"WAIT," Hysees interrupt, "They have fucking nukes?! Who the hell are we dealing with here?"

"The Vemerians," The thing growled in response. "They don't look much different than you guys. Except without the ridiculous horns and blue skin instead of grey."

"If they have nuclear weapons," Jaloon asked, "why haven't they nuked you guys yet? It seems like an easy way to finish you guys off."

"Because if they nuke us, we'll nuke 'em right back!" The consort screamed proudly. Various enthusiastic agreements were heard around the room, and Hysees slapped a hand on her face.

"Holy fuck, it sounds like you ignorant pillow-humpers want to fucking die."

"Well no-one needs to die, hmm?" Jaloon soothed, "We'll go and talk to these Vemerians and see if we can sort something out. Until then, don't do anything rash, huh?"

Jaloon grabbed Hysees by the arm and gently led her out the room as the consort gave a huff in response, and stopped her out the stairs.

"Alright, so you said you found more information on how to access your denizen?" Jaloon asked.

"Oh yeah!" Hysees realised, pulling a couple of stone tablets from her captchalog and handing them to Jaloon. He examined the inscriptions for a few seconds, scrunching his face up at the vague phrases inscribed on the stone. _Fear of annihilation will keep the doors shut tight. Unity through mutual want._ Both tablets weren't vague enough to keep Jaloon from figuring out what to do, but were vague enough to not tell him how to do it.

"Well," Jaloon started, "it seems your objective is indeed to unite these people. Or at least stop them from completely destroying the planet. So we've got the terms from your consorts, I guess we'll go talk to this other species. You know of any way to find them?"

Hysees rubbed her chin, thinking. "Well, maybe we can get an escort. Hang on." She turned from him and opened the door behind her, shouting into the room they'd just come from. "Yo chief, you got any way for us to get to these Vemerians?!"

"Just grab any of the soldiers, they all know the way to a nuclear site out west. From there, they'll get you to the Vemerian capital."

Hysees closed the door behind her, and shrugged at Jaloon. Jaloon gestured for her to follow him, and the two found a consort on the stairs, leaning on his lengthy rifle. He stood to attention as the pair walked up to him.

"Hey," Hysees ordered, "your boss says we can take one of yous' with us to find your nuke site out west, and lucky you, you're coming with us."

The consort scratched its head, "Why me? I don't want to head out there."

"Well I don't give a fuck what you want, because you're coming with us and that's an order!"

The velociraptor slumped its shoulders, but reluctantly nodded his head. "I can get there. It'll be a few hours by the sea-tube."

"Sea-tube?" Jaloon asked.

"A tube that connects our bases by sea. Real smooth ride. Comfy even."

Jaloon shrugged. "Sounds good to me." He gestured the consort down the stairs. "Care to lead on?"

"If you want." The consort led the pair, his gun firm in his hands and their footsteps echoing in the stairwell, while the two tailed close behind. They passed the doorway Jaloon and Hysees had used to enter the building, and descended even further down the building, eventually coming to the basement of the building. A metal door guarded the room, with a keypad next to it, which the consort walked up to and keyed in a four digit code. The door slid open, and the consort guided the two into a small station consisting of a track and a bullet shaped pod. The door was already open, allowing the group to step inside and take a seat each at the two opposite fold out chairsets. The consort's tail drooped beside it, and it pulled out a small keyboard from the side of the pod. He pressed in a few keys and the pod bolted off like a bullet, immediately blasted out of the station and out through the tube. They exited the underground of the city, the tube then taking them out under the sea.

Hysees placed her hand against the glass of the pod, looking out into the pitch black darkness of the sea. God knows what was hiding out in the water away from the tubes lights. She was glad she never had to find out.

"So," the consort broke the silence in the pod, "what's with you guys? Why do you have such an interest in our politics?"

Hysees pressed her face up to the glass. "Quest shit," she muffled.

Jaloon pulled one leg onto his seat and lent his arm on it. "We just have an interest in fixing up whatever's causing these storms."

"Well good luck with that. The stories foretell that only one person can stop the winds, a Hero of Rage that'll unite both sides and bring order to the planets eco-system."

Hysees pulled herself away from the glass and looked proudly at the consort, "Well, lucky day for you because I'm the Hero of Rage. I know, hold your applause."

The consort cocked its head to the side in confusion. "Nope. Don't believe you."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?!"

"It means you're not the Hero. The Hero of Rage is supposed to come down from Skaia itself and less us with their presence."

"And I'm telling yo-"

Jaloon cut her off, and whispered to her, "He's not going to believe you. Just roll with it." He turned to the consort. "So what's the deal with these monsoons? What causes them?"

"Well, believe it or not," the consort started, "it wasn't always like this. The planet was fairly peaceful. Our race would go about our daily business farming and trading with each other, maybe with the occasional storm. Then one day, the Vemerians came to our lands, began assimilating some of us into their colonies, and they began strip mining the planet. Our government wasn't too happy about it, of course, and we attempted to negotiate a solution. Then the wars happened. We didn't stand a chance against their military might, but we held an advantage when it came to stocks of food. That's when the storms started, just out of nowhere. Our territory was the only one affected, so of course most of our people blame something that the Vemerians did."

"Most?" Jaloon asked.

The consort sighed, "I don't really see how they could have personally. These storms, and their constancy, seem out of reach even for them." He looked up at Jaloon, his slit pupils wavering. "Look, you want my opinion? I really hope you two can work something out between us and the Vemerians. I know I don't think power is worth dying over."

"Well, uh," Hysees looked at him expectantly.

"Kyat," he replied.

"Well Kyat, I promise that I will do whatever possible to make sure your planet doesn't blow the fuck up because of you idiots."

Kyat gave her a smile and a nod. "I appreciate it. Hell, maybe we don't need the Hero of Rage with you guys around."

 **Note- Boy, the planet quests arcs are going to be a series of long ones. It's like, seven quests. Of course I'll have chapters separating them, but just a heads up because this'll be consuming at least a couple months! I'll also be retconning the characters planet to relate them more to their personalities, sooo be on the lookout for that.**


	15. The Vemerians

Jaloon looked up at the clear sky for the first time in almost a day, having just passed the border for the consort's territory a few minutes ago. The clouds seemed to mysteriously stop dead as they exited their territory, with the blue skies taking their place. Skaia looked beautiful from LOMAB, the big blue orb pulsating as Jaloon watched it. He pulled his eyes away from the planet, and looked around at the ship he was on. After he, Hysees, and Kyat had made it to the nuclear site, the consorts there had wasted no time getting them on a ship and sending them to the Vemerian territory by sea. Kyat had tagged along for the hell of it, deciding to go all the way with helping the pair on their quest.

The ship had a small crew of twenty, who were all nervous about entering Vemerian land. In anticipation, they had hoisted up a white flag to signal their peaceful intentions to the Vemerians. Jaloon looked down from the sun, and down at the water and soft waves, groaning as he felt the ship rock up and down. He finally gave into his gut, and vomited over the railing into the water. He lent over the railing, spitting the last contents of his mouth into the water, and groaned again.

He felt a hand slap his back, nearly sending him over the edge of the ship. "You having fun over here, big guy?" Hysees appeared beside him with a freshly painted face, and lent her back on the railing. "God, I never realised that you were such a damn pansy!"

Jaloon took a deep breath. "I never had much experience on a ship. I've always been motion sick."

Hysees chuckled, "Reminds me of when we first met. You remember how much of a fat sack of shit you were?"

"I prefer not to."

"Good thing Gertrand got to you when he did, huh?" Hysees smacked Jaloon in his side. "Four sweeps straight of workout really did a shit-tonne for you."

Jaloon grunted in response, and Hysees lost her smile. "I miss him too, you know. Mind you, not as much as you do, but it's pretty close."

"What? I never- I don't miss him! Why would I miss that murderous, uncontrollable psychopath?"

Hysees looked knowingly at him. "Come on dude, I made up the "you liking the low-blooded raving bulge sniffer" in order to get Matt off your back about the fake glasses. You used to have the biggest flushed crush on that kid, and now it's only transitioned to caliginous. But just barely. It's amazing how you know so much about other relationships but know fuck-all about your own feelings."

Jaloon purposely looked away from her, and down at the deck of the ship. His grip grew looser on the railing and he eventually let go and walked away from Hysees without a word. She watched as he walked away, confused, but her attention was drawn to another two ships in front of their own, which had all the crew around Hysees rushing around to their stations. Hysees ran across the ship and grabbed onto Kyat.

"What the hell's going on?" She asked.

"The Vemerians have sent out a couple of ships to take us to port. But they're going to be boarding our ship and inspecting the hull to make sure we haven't brought any weapons of mass destruction with us."

Hysees crossed her arms and looked as one of the ships came up beside them, packed with soldiers armed with rifles. The Vemerians were quite tall, maybe about the size of Hysees' six foot two height, with completely sky blue skin. They all wore military outfits, with button up coats to cover the body armour they wore underneath, but one of them who had taken to standing in front of the soldiers seemed to be a higher up. His chest had several badges on it, each worn as a symbol of pride and satisfaction. He rose up his arm, and a couple of his crew ran up with a wide board and connected the two ships to each other. The man in front gestured a couple of his soldiers forward, and they quickly crossed the board, standing to attention in front of the captain of the ship and Hysees. The higher up man crossed afterwards, his boots creaking across the board, and he jumped down behind his men. He placed his hands behind his back, and walked past his men to face Hysees, Kyat and the ship's captain. He looked around and the ship as a couple more soldiers ran past to inspect the ship, before his attention was grabbed by the captain.

"My, my, my, what have we here?" the captain asked sarcastically. "I am General Bridges of the Vemerian naval fleet. We spotted your ship from our satellites and we were curious as to what your business is here?"

"Wait," Hysees said, "you guys use satellites but you only have wooden ships? That's fucking retarded."

The General looked at her directly. "Oh, is it now? And what the hell are you supposed to be?"

"A race called 'shut your blue fucking mouth before I shove one of your damn badges down your throat.'" Hysees responded spitefully, "But my name is Hysees."

The General smiled. "And what are you doing with such scum of the LOMAB, Hysees?"

The captain of the consort ship growled, showing his pointed teeth, "Piss off, Vemerian. Why don't you go enslave some more races?"

The General condescendingly pat the captain on the head. "Maybe later."

"We've come to negotiate," Hysees replied, "to help both of your fuck-up races solve this feud. And prevent you guys from blowing this planet the fuck up."

The Vemerian's stance lightened, and his condescending tone shifted to a kinder one. "Oh? Well, colour me surprised. The natives actually want to compromise? Well, I'd be happy to oblige once we get to land. Our Queen would be glad to end this little stalemate we have."

"Wait, really?" Kyat asked. "Just like that?"

"Well I make it sound much easier than it'll actually be. There are a lot of our race that still despise you natives, but as long as they are complacent many of us will be more than happy to no longer be at risk of total nuclear annihilation. Myself included."

The two men came back up from below deck, pushing past Hysees and confirming that there were no WMD's on board. "So we all good then?" Kyat asked.

"Of course," the captain replied, turning around to get on his ship. "If you'll follow us, we'll guide you safely into port. God bless."


	16. Our Dear Queen

Hysees leaned over the railing as the consort ship was guided into port to be greeted by a sizeable and imposing Vemerian force, creating a sea of the lighter blue of their skin contrasted with the darker blues of their uniforms. The series of run down houses behind them that extended for miles could only be described as slums, with much more architecturally impressive buildings much further into the city. They almost seemed to glow compared to the dreary nature of the city surrounding it, the heart of a doomed city.

She watched as the Vemerian army stood to attention, guided by a well-dressed lady in a fancy military uniform. Her overcoat and body were covered in various forms of jewellery, including badges, rings in her ears and nose, and a pocket watch in her breast pocket. Her slimming figure cut an imposing one, more so than any other as she stood up with perfect posture and a blank look on her face. A few of the soldiers ran up to a rope that the consorts threw down, and proceeded to tie it around a sturdy metal post to keep the ship from drifting away.

Kyat jogged over to Hysees on his large hind legs, and told her, "They're letting us on shore. The woman in the fancy uniform wants to speak with you. And you specifically."

"Why would she ask for me?" Hysees questioned, standing up from the railing.

"Probably because you stand out like a sore claw? I don't know. But she only wants you, according to one of her soldiers."

Hysees pursed her mouth, but followed Kyats instructions. Kyat gave her a shrug of his small shoulders as she walked away. On the other side of the ship was Jaloon, waiting eagerly to get off the ship via a large ramp that the consorts were slowly setting up. She lined up behind him and smiled slightly as she watched him gently jump up and down in anticipation of getting off the ship. He gave a frustrated grunt as the consorts continued to slowly place the ramp down, but they eventually opened up the ramp for use. Jaloon quickly paced down and took a deep breath of fresh air as he hit the ground, with Hysees slowly following behind. She passed him, giving him an unintentionally hard slap on the back, and approached the well-dressed Vemerian lady.

The lady bowed courteously in her presence, and Hysees gave a half-hearted clumsy bow in return. "Ah, you must be the strange alien my soldiers told me about." She laid out her light blue hand. "I am Queen Lamitly. A pleasure." Hysees stood there for a few seconds as the Queen looked at her expectantly, before the Queen spoke up again. "You're supposed to kiss my hand. It's a custom in our culture."

Hysees narrowed her eyes at the Queen, but complied with a short but soft kiss on the back of her hand. "Sorry. Ain't really the courteous type. Which is weird considering."

"Considering what?" The Queen asked.

"Well, back on my planet, I would've been considered a royal as well. But my lusus never raised me as such, the tough bastard."

The Queen's eyes lit up in realisation. "Oh! I wouldn't of have realised considering your attire and whole demeanour. My apologies." The Queen grabbed Hysees' hand and returned a light peck on it.

"Oh, uh, that wasn't necessary, Lamitly," Hysees chuckled.

"Please do not call me by my last name. Your Majesty will do fine."o

"Oooooor I could keep calling you Lamitly because I'd rather set off every nuke in this city and destroy this fuck-up of a planet than call you 'your majesty.'" Hysees held her hand in front of her. "No offense, of course."

"My, is your species usually this rude?"

"Only the toughest ones!" Hysees smiled.

The Queen sighed, shaking her head. "Such a strange species." She looked back up at Hysees. "Come. I believe we have much to discuss."

Hysees nodded, and followed the Queen as she briskly walked past her soldiers. Hysees gave a wave to Jaloon, whom was too busy basking in his newfound appreciation for solid land to acknowledge her. The Queen led her to a large carriage drawn by a couple of horses, where a soldier stood ready with the door open. A couple of poorly dressed Vemerian citizens watched as Hysees and the Queen got in, their intent staring making Hysees feel uncomfortable. The carriage door was closed, and the soldier slapped the roof to signal the cart, prompting it to begin moving.

"You know," the Queen started, "you look oddly familiar, Hysees. You very much remind me of a painting one of my favourite artists, Jumin Ingsbab." She leaned on her head on her hand, which rested on the window of her door. "The painting depicted the fabled Hero of Rage, uniting two opposing forces using her great knowledge of the subject of Rage. She, despite her own anger and violent tendencies, would set aside both of the forces' anger in order to bring peace to the land. I find it scary how uncanny the resemblance is between you two."

Hysees grunted in response, "Huh, what a coincidence."

The Queen smiled. "Quite. So onto business, I suppose. My men mentioned you were here for negotiations?"

"Yep. Mainly just to get these fucking monsoons to stop destroying my castle, but reducing the risk of this planet being destroyed by you dumbasses is a good motivator as well."

"So I'm guessing the consorts of this land are finally open to working for us?"

"Working _with_ you," Hysees corrected. "I'm here to make a deal that gets both you guys and the consorts happy. I just want to hear your terms, and we can sort this problem out easily and without bloodshed."

The Queen frowned. "Oh. Well, that makes things a lot more complicated. My people want peace, but they don't want equality. Being considered on the same level as them would make them very angry."

"But why would they sacrifice their own comfort just to keep people below them? It doesn't matter."

"Look, I understand that. But I also understand where my people are coming from. They will not be happy." The Queen sighed. "Look, you said you were a royal, didn't you?"

"Well, compared to all other land trolls. Not the highest caste, but I was some sort of Duchess of a part of the planet."

"And you considered other trolls to be lower than you?"

Hysees frowned and rubbed her arm embarrassedly. "Well, that's different."

"How so? Care to elaborate?"

"Look, I don't need to explain myself. Low-blooded trolls are pieces of shit that don't understand basic courtesy, but on this planet you guys are just as bad as the consorts!"

The Queen chuckled, "I see. Well, that is disappointing. You still have plenty to learn, Hysees."

"Learn? What do you know that I don't?"

"Enough. More than most. I suppose you'll learn eventually. You'll have to in order to truly complete this quest." The Queen gazed out the window, watching the slums of the city pass by. "But as for our business, I will reach out to the leader of the consorts and set up a meeting. I will try my best to work out some sort of deal between our two species."

Hysees raised an eyebrow, then rolled her eyes and sighed. She proceeded to look out the her separate window, and sat in silence as the cart proceeded up to the Queens castle.


	17. Day 207

The light shone through the stained glass and onto the spot where Hysees sat, slouched down more so to seem like she was lying on the chair. Well, more of a throne than a chair. It wasn't the only one though, all twelve seats, six sat on each side of a long rectangular wooden table, were equally as frivolous as hers, though those that sat in them sat with more grace than her. Beside her was Jaloon, his blank covered book in his hand like always, and the Queen sat on her other side, sipping on her cup of tea. On the Queens' side sat her three important ambassadors: the General of her armies, her Treasurer, and her personal advisor, each looking as elegant as her. Hysees twiddled her thumbs as the group waited for the leader of the consorts to meet them to negotiate terms.

Hysees made clicking sounds with her mouth to break the deadening silence of the room, and she examined the glass windows. Imprinted into the window was picture of the Queen giving a piece of bread to one of her citizens, whom was kneeling on his knees. On another one was a picture of a similar calibre, with the Queen giving a jug of water to another of her citizens. Every window had a similar picture on it. This Queen sure was humble.

Hysees raised her hand to block the light shining bright into her eyes, annoyed at the constant blinding of her vision. She wondered why her retinas weren't being burned out, maybe back on her planet she had a different kind of sun? Who the hell knew.

She turned over to Jaloon, tapping him on the shoulder. "Hey. Hey Jaloon," she whispered.

Jaloon perked up his head to make it clear he was listening, though continued to not look at her. Hysees continued, "What're you doin'?"

"Readin'," he replied in his usual monotone voice.

Hysees sat up and positioned her head on arms, which sat on the arm rest, looking at the blue-blood. "Whatcha reading anyways? You never spend a moment away from that crap."

"It's my journal, if you really must know."

Hysees gasped, "No shit! Let us have a look-see."

Hysees reached out to grab the book, but Jaloon held the matte black thing away from her grasp. His superior height gave him an advantage over her, though only by a couple of inches.

"C'mon!" Hysees whined. "Let us look!"

Hysees struggled against him, outstretching her arm in a desperate attempt to grasp his journal. "No!" Jaloon barked, his deep voice losing its monotony in favour of a more cracking and high pitched tone. "It's private! Get off of me."

"Dude I could totally kick your ass to get that damn book!"

"Bullshit you could!"

Hysees pushed him out of his chair, but not before he grbbed her baggy shirt and pulled her down with him. Both of their chairs fell with them, toppling around them. None of the others in the room gave them a second thought, continuing to mind their own business as the two wrestled. Hysees crawled up from her position to Jaloon and grabbed a hold of his journal, attempting to wrest it from his grasp. Jaloon attempted to kick the woman away, but she instead crawled on top of him and sat herself on his chest. She held him down with one arm, preventing him from struggling, and snatched the book from his hand easily.

Jaloon groaned as she chuckled victoriously, and fell off of him onto her back beside him. She opened up the books and began scanning through it, flipping pages every second. As Jaloon sat up and rubbed his head, Hysees' eyes went from excitement to confusion, and she flipped through a few more pages before sitting up with Jaloon.

"Jaloon?" Hysees asked, "What the fuck is this?"

Jaloon blushed, a combination of anger and embarrassment on his face. "Personal stuff."

"Huh. Well your personal stuff is kinda fucking weird." She held up the open book by the top of its spine, revealing a roughly done drawing of both Carthus and Matt, with a large red heart symbol above them and writing hastily scribbled saying 'NOT LIK[-LY'. She flipped to another page, this time depicting Pially and Tarlia with a spade over their heads, with the scribbling of 'IMPOSSIBL[-' beside it. "What the hell is this exactly?"

"It's my, uh, I uh," Jaloon sighed, "it's my shipping journal."

"Where you ship all your friends?"

"Well I have a separate one for movies and T.V, but yeah. That's my friend shipping book."

Hysees narrowed her eyes. "That's weird dude. Kind of creepy as well." She slowly smiled slyly, putting the book up to her face again. "Well let's see who you got me paired with."

She flipped a few pages to find ships regarding herself, passing apparently unlikely ones like a Matespritship with Tarlia, a Kismessitude with Jaloon himself, and an Auspitace between her, Pially, and Gertrand, and found the most likely Kismesis, with it being her and Matt. She flipped some more pages, finding that apparently the most likely Matespritship was her and Mahnda, though a note beside it said 'RIP'. Another flip of the pages revealed a Moirailegiance with Jaloon, and an Auspitace with her, Carthus, and Matt, though she scoffed at that one.

"Hey Jaloon?" She asked in a cheeky tone of voice. "What's it called when a shipper has a favourite ship?"

"You mean an OTP?"

"Ah, that's it. Let's see who your little OTP is."

Jaloon made an uncomfortable grunt as Hysees searched through the book, eventually stopping in her tracks and her eyes widening. "No fucking shit." She faced the book to Jaloon again, with a page displaying, under a big red heart, Jaloon and Gertrand, with 'FUCK Y[-S OTP' beside it. "Oh no, I don't love him!' 'Oh no, I don't want to gobble down his bulge-sac like a stick of cotton candy!' God, I fucking knew it!"

Jaloon snatched his book back and snapped it closed, but before he could say something in retort, the doors to the room creaked open. The consorts had finally arrived. The leader, with his variety of entourages, entered the room at a brisk pace, with the leader having a frustrated and angry look on his face.

"Alright," He demanded, "let's get this over with." He briskly walked up to the table, pushing the cushioned chairs over and placing his short, velociraptor claws on the table. "So, I came. Much to my annoyance. Your city smells like shit, you know that, right? You don't even know how many dirty looks I got coming here. I swore I was going to get stabbed on the way here." He glanced to the side of the table, where Jaloon and Hysees were setting their chairs back up. "What the hell's happening here? Why are you on the ground? Bah, it doesn't matter. What does matter is what the hell is even going on. You got any answers for that, princess?"

He looked directly at the Queen menacingly, and she placed down her tea cup of tea on the table in front of her. "Mr Pallingham, please. We come on peaceful terms."

"Peaceful terms my ass! You expect to take over my planet, and suddenly want peace? Fuck that, you owe me."

"I, Mr Pallingham, do not owe you a thing. We offered an alliance, and you left my people to starve."

"Well maybe if you spent less time destroying my planet and more on fertilising the land maybe you're people wouldn't be starving!"

The Queen breathed in deeply, "Please do not speak of my peo-"

"Oh!" The consort interrupted. "Are you getting a little mad that your inferior race are too dumb to feed themselves?"

"Well maybe we don't want to end up savages like your race!" The Queen yelled. "Our art, architecture, movies, are all superior to anything you could ever make. Maybe that's why your race is still living in poverty!"

The consort rolled his eyes. "Oh give me a break!"

The Queen rubbed her eyes. "Why did I ever expect this to work, your race is pathetic and deserve to live in squabble. Get the hell out of my city!"

"With pleasure, princess. I can't wait to destroy this damn-"

"NO!" Hysees screamed at the top her lungs, stopping both parties dead in their tracks. "God dman it, do you two realize how fucking pathetic you look? You're bickering like god damn children! 'Wah, I can't work with this race because they were mean.' 'Wah, this race won't worship the ground we walk on so let's let our own people starve to death.' For fuck's sake, I'm not asking you two to get married and have a weird animal-alien hybrid baby, just to removing your nukes so you don't destroy the world you live in!"

"My god," The Queen scoffed, "what gives you the right to speak to me li-"

Hysees pushed her chair onto the ground and wiped the Queens' tea cup off the table. "Fuck up, I didn't give you permission to speak, 'Princess'. You're the worst out of the pair of you. You're oppressive, racist, and way too fucking uptight. You're standards are through the roof, with your fancy way of dressing and formal way of talking. Your own people are starving to death in the streets while you sit up here on your throne with your hoity-fucking-toity tea and gold encrusted clothing, and these damn consorts are the only ones able to feed your fuck-up of a city! You expected to just roll on in here to their planet, and enforce an matriarchal society onto that of a democratic one? That's, of course, going to make them a little angry!"

The consort leader chuckled triumphantly, "Ha ha! Take that, Princess!"

Hysees turned her head ninety degrees, followed by the rest of her body, flipped the table over and charged over to the consort, leaving the shocked Queen behind. "Oh, I'm sorry, what the hell did you say? You're not much better, fuck-ass. Just the lesser of two evils! These outsiders, with no knowledge of your culture and traditions, come to your world and try to integrate you, so you couldn't just, I don't know, educate them a God damn little?! Maybe try and reach an agreement, and not outright declare war on them? And when they started falling downwards and starving, maybe you could've proved your superiority in morality by gifting them food? Then maybe you could've had an upper-hand, or at the very least, done it out of the good of your heart? You're both terrible people, with an extremely destructive view on the world. Both of you have reasons to be angry, but you shouldn't let others suffer for that anger. You need to learn to control it, to look past it for the better of your respective races. You let anger consume you, and you won't be able to crawl your way out of it. I know I may seem like a person of pure hatred, but my anger is controlled, and always directed in a focused way toward someone or something I think deserves it. And it never, ever affects anyone or anything else in any way. You know what I mean?"

The room kept silent, both parties too scared to say anything, before the Vemerian finally spoke up, "I… think I may. I will admit, my anger has come from a place of scaredy. My civilisation has been falling apart ever since the famine starting, and I'm scared of my race giving up hope. I had to give them someone to blame, anyone. The Vemerian citizens were already suspicious of the consorts, so you guys just seemed like an easy target. I was scared of losing my race. Of my people not trusting me as their Queen, when all I've done is try to do right by them."

The consort scoffed, "You're scared? How do you think I feel, leading a race to their very doom? We live on the other side of the world in constant storms, with everything we build being knocked down and destroyed? My people have lost their families to the storms, children and old people all were slaughtered during the initial hurricane. We don't live in poverty because we want to, but because it's the only way we can. I'm fucking terrified, excuse the language."

"But your foo-"

"Who gives a shit about the food if my race lives every day in fear?"

The Queen looked at him with understanding eyes, before sighing, "I see. I am truly sorry. Well you know what? If my people don't want to live with your race, tough luck to them. I'd be ready and willing to transfer any of your people to my city. Considering they can lend their natural farming expertise to make sure I can get my people back on their feet?"

The consort held out its tiny arm over the up-turned table. "If it means safety, of course."

The Queen smiled, and shook the consort's hand. "Then it looks like we have a deal. I will get a contract written u-"

The consort laughed heartily, "With all due respect, fuck a pathetic contract! Let's set up one of these phenomenal Vemerian parties I've heard about! I'll provide catering, of course."

Hysees sighed contently, as she felt Jaloon place a hand on her shoulder. "You did well here, Hysees," he told her. "You seem to know quite a bit about your aspect."

"And you seem surprised? I've always known a hell of a lot about Rage and what makes people angry. How to control those emotions. A lot of practice."

"Well, it's a good thing you did. Looks like we got a denizen to attend to." Hysees nodded, pulling him into a one armed hug as they watched the two sides make reparations.


	18. Day 210

The night had been grand so far. After dealing with her denizen, the consorts of the land had invited Hysees and her friends to a Vemerian ball, which Hysees had accepted quite reluctantly. She hadn't been to a ball before, not out of the fact that none were held, just because dancing and eating a bunch of fancy food in small servings had never been appealing to her. And her reluctance hadn't been unjustified; the Vemerian ball had been exactly what she imagined, with the added strangeness of watching a series of velociraptors and blue people dance together.

She had to admit though: the giant hall which the Vemerians had used for the ball was a tremendous display of grandeur. The room almost seemed to be made of gold with how bright they shone, and the marble floor reflected every action performed on top of it. The hall was lined with large pillars, more a display of wealth than for structural integrity, and with stained glass windows letting in the moonlight, though you'd barely be able to see with how brightly lit the room was.

On the floor were several dozen pairs of Vemerians and consorts, all either moving about gracefully in dance or conversing with each other. The leader of the consorts included, though the Queen of the Vemerians moved around the room talking to her people and the consorts alike. Along with them were Hysees' friends, whom had all come along to attend the party, with Pially and Carthus attempting to clumsily dance together and Tarlia flittering around the room talking to the residents, though, Matt was no-where to be seen yet. Jaloon stood beside Hysees, digging into a plate stack full of various fish, while Hysees herself had just finished off her plate of food.

"Where the hell is he?" Hysees complained, adjusting her attire.

Rather than a dress, which Hysees would rather hang herself than wear, she had Tarlia whip up another three-piece suit along with Matts', Jaloons', and Carthus', while Tarlia and Pially had donned dresses. The boys and Hysees had different variations of the same suit, with Carthus wearing a light grey suit with a dark grey tie, Jaloon a dark grey suit with a light grey tie, and Hysees and Matt wearing matching black suits with black ties. Meanwhile Pially and Tarlia wore different dresses; Pially with a thin dress reaching down to her feet that hugged her short and thin figure, and Tarlia a frilly, sleeveless white dress that reached just below her thighs and complemented her dyed cerulean blue hair, and waved around her as she moved energetically.

"Who, Matt?" Jaloon asked, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief. "He's always late to everything, you know that."

"Yeah, but he's usually good at managing his time," Hysees replied. "Like he can get shit done when he puts his mind to it. It's kinda fucking cool to be honest." She pointed a finger at Jaloon. "You tell him that and I will hang you from the chandelier."

Jaloon crossed his chest with his finger. "Swear on my life."

Hysees nodded, giving a second of thought as to if she should just ask Tarlia to dance, but her plans changed when she heard the light clacking of dress shoes on the hardwood floor behind her. She rolled her eyes, and turned to face a slightly out of breath Matt, whom slid to a halt in front of her.

He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, and huffed, "O-oh, hey… guys. Got kind of held… up at… my house." He took a deep breath, and adjusted his vest. "But hey! I'm here now so it's okay."

Hysees looked at him, unimpressed. "I have no idea how anyone put up with you and your retarded sense of time, let alone why any human would want to. Why did what's her name become friends with you?"

Matt raised an eyebrow. "You mean Tara? I don't know, we just started talking online one day and never stopped. I'm surprised she stayed as long as she did." He straightened his back. "But that's a long story, and I've never met her in person, only seen pictures. Story for another day, maybe. If I can change the topic, I think you look very beautiful in your suave suit."

Hysees smiled slightly. "Thank you. And you look pretty handsome in yours."

Matt held out his hand. "So, can I have next dance?"

"Only if I lead."

"Bullshit you'll lead. I'll lead the shit out of you."

Hysees spitefully took his hand, and the two made their way to the dance floor, leaving Jaloon all by his lonesome. He sighed, and took a bite from the meat on his plate, but felt a hand on his shoulder from behind him. Tarlia spun around him, revealing herself to her fellow blue blood, a gleeful smile on her face.

"Jaloon!" She cried cheerfully. "How amazing is all this! The music, the dancing, I haven't seen anything this grand since I was seven sweeps old at Mahnda's place. What are you doing just standing here? Get out and shake what the mother grub gave ya!"

Jaloon took a gulp of his food. "I'm not much for dancing. Anymore at least."

Tarlia's wide grin grew smaller, but no less happy. "Oh, right. Not since your is he, isn't he boyfriend murdered two of our friends. I miss him. I miss the two of you. You were adorable together."

"We were something. Can we get off this subject now?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that!" Tarlia turned around to face the dance floor, pinching a leg of an unknown beast from Jaloons plate. "Seriously though, Hysees did amazingly in uniting these two. She really is coming into her role."

"Role as what?" Jaloon asked, continuing his dig into his plate.

"You know, as a Sylph of Rage!"

"What's that mean?"

"It's her class and aspect! She's a healer class, healing Rage and healing through Rage. More of an emotional healer than a physical."

"How do you know that?"

"My Lusus. The selective future seeing comes in handy sometimes. Shame the stubborn thing still won't tell me my class."

Jaloon chuckled, "Like Lusus, like adopted troll girl I guess."

Tarlia giggled, giving Jaloon a playful punch in the arm. "Anyway, she's being a very good Sylph so far. Girl has a lot of knowledge on Rage. I'd say she's the most stable one from our group right now."

"You think so?"

"Well, think about it. Our group of ruffians are pretty unstable compared to her. Carthus is darn sensitive about his height and puts on that angry wriggler personality. Matt seems pretty cocky and almost scared of his own fate. Tara's figuring a lot of stuff out. Pially's disguising her own personality through her substances. And in all fairness, you're pretty subservient and unlucky in relationships, so you're out. And I get pretty, pretty angry when Carthus isn't around."

Jaloon scoffed, "Subservient?!" Tarlia gave him a knowing look, and he immediately backed down. "Eh I guess."

Tarlia patted him on the back caringly. "If it's any compensation, I'm told it's apparently the nature of a Mage of Heart."

"Mage of Heart?"

"Yeah, ya know; relationships and the sort. From what I've heard, you won't have luck with the aspect, but you will have vast knowledge of it. I think you already do." Tarlia pointed the untouched leg of meat at him. "You just need to come out of your shell more! We all do. Even someone as stable as Hysees. But she's probably the closest to mastering her role." She wrapped her arms around Jaloon in a hug. "Good talk! I'm gonna go find someone to dance with. Love ya!"

Instead of walking, Tarlia teleported away in a puff of black smoke, appearing a bit away with Pially and Carthus. Jaloon watched her steal Pially away from her Moirail, blowing a kiss to Carthus, and went to dance together. Jaloon sighed, pacing over to the banquet table and placing his food on the ground, proceeding to whip out his journal. He opened it up to a page displaying a drawing of Pially and Tarlia, with a giant heart over it, and then wrote 'Pr[-tty lik[-ly' beside it. He closed the book, and watched the night go by peacefully, thinking on the conversation between him and Tarlia.


	19. Intermission: Day 215

The rest of the week for Matt had been relatively quiet; Hysees had remained on her planet helping the two sides dismantle their nukes and learn to live together, so there went doing anything with her. Tarlia and Carthus were busy with 'moirail sssssstuff' to quote Carthus, while Jaloon had started dedicating his time to the new wrigglers and babies that the group had made. The only one not accounted for, besides Tara of course, was Pially, doing God knows what. So Matt had decided to go aout his own business, doing random quests for his consorts along with his usual daily schedule.

The day so far had been nothing special: Matt had only been able to do one quest involving a local family and removing an ogre from their farm. Tedious quests like that had made up most of his time, and bored him immensely. The stories of his denizen made him want to abandon all these side quests and focus on his main one, but he had no clue where to start. The thing that really pissed him off though, was the constant ticking from the countless pendulums that dotted the mountainous terrain. While home he was completely fine, the sound didn't reach him, but as soon as he left the small hill his house was sat upon, the soft but present sound surrounded him. He had to do something about that.

Now though, he stood in his houses' kitchen, just starting to cook his dinner. Well, cook was a little of an overstatement, more like reheat the burgers he had alchemised yesterday. Thank God for the ability to alchemise easily cooked food, or he'd starve to death. He had placed a patty on his oven, and now waited while the thing heated up and began to cook, sitting down in a chair while it did. He began whistling a tune, a chippy tune that he learned a while back from Tarlia, and lifted his feet onto his table.

He felt his PC buzz with a message, and grabbed the small object from his sport jersey and answered it.

ReeferApartheid (RF) began Trolling DailySpelunker (DS)

RF: yo  
DS: yo  
RF: yo  
DS: what are you doing  
RF: yo  
DS: we're not doing that  
RF: …  
RF: yo  
DS: pially  
DS: what do you want  
RF: im boerd  
DS; ok  
DS: anything else  
RF: noep nufin  
DS: well what do you want me to do  
RF: i duno  
RF: wat ar you dooin  
DS: I'm cooking  
DS: burgers a la leftovers  
DS: bon appe-fucking-tite  
RF: wait burgres  
RF: fuk im allredy ther

ReeferApartheid ceased Trolling DailySpelunker (DS)

DS: what no eta  
DS: fine I guess ill make another

Matt sighed, and chucked his phone to the side of the stove, knocking over a stack of bread in the process. He switched off his stove, turning around and leaning his back on the bench behind him. He closed his eyes, exhaling deeply, then opened his eyes again to see Pially sat down in one of his table's chairs. He stared at her, unimpressed, for a few seconds, while her unfocused eyes glazed over him.

Matt shook his head, before speaking up, "Can I get you a water or something?"

Pially goofily smiled at him. "Nah, I'm fine. Just here for the burgers, dude."

Matt made a clicking noise with his mouth, "Course. As you wish, my Queen."

Matt bobbed his head, and continued his original objective, walking over to his fridge and opening the top door reserved for the freezer. He turned to face Pially again.

"So how many you want? One, two…?"

Pially's goofy expression didn't change. "A few."

Matt held himself back from lashing out in frustration. "How many is a few?"

Pially shrugged. "I don't know, a dozen."

Matts' eyes widened in surprise. "Really? You're joking, right?"

Pially shook her head. "Nah, a dozen."

Matt narrowed his eyes, lowly grunting and turning back to the freezer. He reached in and pulled out a couple of six packs of burger patties, cupping them in one arm and pressing them to his chest. He used his free arm to close the colourless freezer, and quickly made his way back to the stove. He let out his arm, and the packs fell onto the wooden counter in a disorganised mess. Pulling a pair of scissors from a holder beside the stove, he cut open a hole in both packs, then pulled a three pans out of the draw below and put them on the other three spots left on his stove.

"So what's with the appetite?" Matt asked, slapping each of the patties into one of the pans. "Hysees doesn't even eat that much. It's like you're trying to gain a few pounds."

Pially inhaled deeply, "Eh, I'm trying."

Matt turned each of the stove tops on, slowly heating the patties. "No shit? Why would you want to gain weight?"

"Because look at me!"

Pially stood up to let Matt get a better look at her, and Matt took a break from his cooking to examine her. Looking at her, he couldn't really spot any problems; she was pretty short at five foot three, and her thin figure was hidden by her fuchsia purple ankle length skirt and white tank top. Her fins on the side of her head wriggled a bit with agitation, and Matt realised this was the first time he had seen her genuinely distressed.

Matt shrugged. "I don't see anything wrong. I've seen plenty of short and skinny girls."

"But that's the problem!" Pially slapped the palm of one hand with the back of the other. "I'm way too skinny. Borderline anorexic, if anything. Every time I look at Tarlia, I think about how I could never live up to how curvy and genuinely sexy she is. When I look at Hysees, I get jealous at how she's able to live twice her body weight and still have this athletic figure with a nice butt. I've got nothing compared to them, and maybe if I keep eating, something'll change."

Matt rolled his eyes, getting up and away from the bench. "If you want to get a better body, eating's not the right way to go. You're just going to plump up if you do that. A three-hundred pound woman ain't gonna be an asset to the game. What you need, is to start bulking rather than just straight up gaining weight. Me and Hysees got this workout routine going on, and if we can get you focused on it, I reckon we can help you with the skinny thing. Maybe get you a body of your own. It'll be easy, if we can also start you up on a regular intake of protein shakes." Matt paused for a second. "Man, never realised how douchy that sounds."

Pially smiled slightly. "You'd really do that? Man, I don't care what everyone else says about you, you're not as selfish as they say."

Matt looked insulted. "Selfish? Why would they call me selfish?" Pially skook her hand in indecisiveness. "Well, whatever. But you have to promise me you can actually stick to the schedule? I'm not deviating from mine just to suit a time that you like."

Pially nodded. "You got it, I promise." She paced over to Matt, giving him a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you so much."

Matt sighed, and wrapped an arm around her. "You got it, fish girl."


	20. Day 228

Giving a kick of a random pebble on the ground, Gertrand sighed as he slowly paced around the close-by tree. Life for him had been stale since everyone had abandoned him; his ill-informed decision to initially kill all the denizens had proved fruitless. Apparently the doors were harder to open than he thought, as his efforts to simply pry open the door using his bare hands or his various sets of tools had failed. Even using his ridiculously over-powered God Tier powers had failed him, though he was not sure how Life powers would ever help him with that. He had a long time to think since then, and he eventually realised how ridiculous of an idea that was, which would've left him disheartened that he caused the death of two of his friends if he had remorse for his killings.

Gertrand had always been like this, killing was never a turn off for his never-ending search for military domination. Ever since he'd started taking on his ancestors work as a warlord, he'd done a lot of terrible stuff to get to the top. Things he'd been criticised about. But people's thoughts weren't enough to stop him from becoming the most feared nine and a half sweep old troll on his planet. An army by his side, and a reputation that would make grown trolls cower in fear, it was a surprise to him when he turned out to be a Life player, considering his tendencies to destroy it. Though the title of Prince fit him very well, he thought.

Lately he'd been thinking about what his next move was. Should he attempt to communicate with his former friends again? But what would he do? His solution to every problem was to just destroy anyone that got in his way, and he could easily take out any of them who opposed him; Carthus, Jaloon, perhaps the new people in the game, without regret. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to do that. He wanted to try and get his friends to realise it wasn't his fault. But if his hand was forced…

Now he'd just been loitering around his planet, attempting various puzzles set around the place. His attempts to force them complete hadn't come to fruition, and he had to rely on his generally limited intellect to solve a lot of them. If he wasn't doing that, he was most likely dictating the actions of his consorts, or flying up to Skaia and taking out a few battalions of Dersites and Prospitians.

Gertrand placed his hand on the tree, coursing his powers through it and turning the formerly colourful tree black and rotten. He decided against wearing his outfit, even if it was mandatory if he wanted to fly, and wore a simple pair of jeans with no shirt, which showed off his extremely muscular upper torso.

"You know lounging around ain't going to improve shit?" He would've jumped at the voice, if he hadn't gotten so used to them popping up.

He turned around to face the source, the vague outline of a white ghostly figure, and snapped, "I know fucktard, but there isn't anything else I can do, is there?" These ghostly figures had haunted Gertrand since his sixth wriggling day, and he'd committed his first murder on one of his low-blooded servants. He thought they might've been a punishment by some divine being.

The figure shifted slightly. "Maybe you could think rationally for a few seconds?"

"Fuck you, I'm rational as shit."

The figure scoffed, "Sure, I'm certain murdering innocents is as rational as one can get."

Gertrand waved his hand. "I've always had reason to kill."

"Oh yeah? You care to elaborate how killing me works into your master plan?"

Gertrand sighed, "Get over yourself, it wa-"

The figure cut him off with an angry yell, "You don't get to tell me to get over myself you genocidal piece of shit!" It began to walk towards him with careful but rage-filled steps. "I watched you tear through my village, murdering adults and wrigglers alike when you were seven fucking sweeps old. You burned our houses, salted our fields just so any survivors, which there were none, couldn't live there anymore. Why, oh fucking why, did you do that again?" The figure gasped, "Oh right, because we had one fucking person insult your little clan!" The figure stopped in front of him, and although he couldn't see its face, he got the impression that there was longing and sadness in its theoretical eyes.

Gertrand kept metaphorical eye contact with the figure, unfazed by its speech. "I-"

"You barged into my hive personally, I remember." The figure sounded choked up with sadness. "You yelled in that deep booming voice of yours, 'where is the orange blood,' and she stood up out of our hiding place to face you. She had some delusion about killing the evil warlord, the naïve girl. She barely stood up when I watched you take out your sword and impale my matesprit through the chest. I begged for my God damn life, but you just threw my life away like it was leftover food."

Gertrand grew impatient with the figure, as he usually did. "You-"

"And now the most I can do is to haunt your ass to the end of time, along with the other thousands of trolls you maliciously murdered. To make you regret all your actions you murderous piece of trash!"

Gertrand closed his eyes with frustration and clenched his fists. "Oh for FUCKS SAKE GO THE FUCK AWAY!"

Gertrand took in a few deep breaths, before opening up his eyes to face the figure again. This time though, the figure had disappeared and been replaced by a real being, one he hadn't seen in a long time. In front of him stood the over a foot shorter fish troll Pially, a blank and in the clouds look on her face.

"Okay," she said, shrugging, "if you insist."

Pially turned away, but Gertrand grabbed her shoulder and turned her back around. "Pially? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I don't know, just kinda ended up here. It's real hazy. Like one moment I'm training with Matt and Hysees, then I'm walking on your planet."

"That's… not good Pially. I told you about the drugs, they corrupt your memory."

Pially shrugged. "Eh."

"I thought you were told to stay away from me? Why are you here with me?"

Pially gave him a light punch on the shoulder. "Oh please, I know you aren't gonna kill me. We've been besties since… wait how long has it been?"

Jaloon rubbed his eyes with two fingers. "Fuck Pially, what would the others think. Well, you're here now. You want to come over to my hive for a bite to eat?"

Pially nodded. "Sure, I could go for just about anything now."


End file.
